I spread herpes to him

Guest author from our community: Katie S.

Life loves to give me surprises every year; and 2012 was no exception. I got a last minute ticket to a festival that I’d been wanting to go to for years; my mom paid me a surprise visit in Colorado; I was intimate with somebody and got herpes; I was intimate with somebody else and gave him herpes. Wait.. what? What did life just give me?! I thought this would never actually really happen? I thought I could never do this to anyone?! My ignorance was bliss for years, but then reality hit and I realized that life happens… even if you’re not prepared.

What I wish I knew before any of this happened, are the facts about herpes, and how it is spread. I certainly would have been more prepared, and more cautious. After learning about my herpes diagnosis is when I began looking up the herpes statistics. I learned that an estimated 80% of Americans have Oral Herpes (HSV-1). It can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact; from mouth to genital, or genital to genital contact. There is a much larger risk of spreading the virus when a mouth sore is present, and a much smaller risk when there is no sore present.

It is estimated that 1 in 5 Americans have Genital Herpes (HSV-2) which is generally spread from genital to genital contact. Again, there is a much greater risk when a herpes sore is present, and much smaller risk when there is no sore present. When herpes is spread without a sore being present, this is called asymptomatic shedding. Asymptomatic shedding cannot be predicted but is known to occur on at least 5% of days during the year.

Knowing that I spread herpes to someone else is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I used to beat myself up constantly, anguishing about him and what he was going through because of me. I was at my lowest low, and tried to find some self-forgiveness in the fact that I’d passed the herpes virus before I even know I had it. With time, support, and a lot of love, I have experienced self-forgiveness and love in way that I never thought possible for myself. I am so thankful for the support and realizations that have come along the way. I have realized that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you respond to it. The best way to respond to life is to find compassion for yourself, be love for yourself and others, and learn from whatever life gives you.

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People with herpes

Guest author from our community: Katie S.

After my herpes test came back positive, I was having a difficult time coming to terms with it. When I go through hardships, I want to talk to my friends and family. With herpes, I only wanted to talk to people who understood. I was afraid of the stigma around herpes, and afraid of what my friends and family might think. I joined a website that included herpes dating and a herpes forum. I started talking with other people who have herpes. I quickly realized just how wrong the stigma about herpes actually is. Through my experience having herpes, I have met some of the most interesting people, with the most loving, open, and kind hearts.

I never knew how many people have herpes. Herpes statistics show that about 1 in 6 American’s have genital herpes. Herpes does not have a certain type of person that it likes to host, regardless of what social stigma would have people think. You don’t need to be “dirty” and/or “stupid” to get herpes. It can happen to anyone. It’s an equal opportunity virus. With having herpes for almost a year now, I’ve been in touch with many others who share the virus. Some of these people include doctors, yoga instructors, wine enthusiasts, bar tenders, life coaches, nurses, caretakers, contractors, computer engineers, business owners, and wakeboarding coaches. In short, the other thing they share in common is being perfectly human. I’ve realized just how much we are all normal people, and we share a virus that’s totally manageable.

I’ve realized just how physically and emotionally manageable herpes is just by the people who I’ve met with herpes. I have gotten advice on using herpes medication for suppressive therapy. I’ve learned that it can be used to decrease outbreaks and greatly lessen the chance to spread herpes to a partner. I’ve also learned that taking a pill or two after having sex can decrease your chances of getting a herpes outbreak. It’s been important for me to learn how to manage my herpes physically, but the amount of love and support from others with herpes has been the most heartwarming and important to me through this journey emotionally.

Even before I had herpes, I loved to connect with people. One of my favorite things in the world is when people come together and support each other, showing love with no boundaries. It’s the world I’ve always wanted to live in, and I’ve experienced a lot of it within the herpes community. I have shared my diagnosis with close family and friends, all of whom have met me with love and understanding. I have shared my diagnosis with others who can relate, and I’ve never received so much love and support from perfect strangers. It’s been so beautifully eye-opening to see how powerful we are in helping others to love themselves, and to show ourselves the amount of love we deserve.

I’ve had lots of advice, kind words, and humor that have been spoken to me by people who have herpes. Here are some my favorites:

In an email from someone after I was first diagnosed:

“My interpretation is simple: Go live your life, be at peace (as much as you can) with your fuck ups and successes. Don’t spend all your time locked away on a spiritual quest.  Be okay with the fact that sometimes you’re the most wonderful person on the planet and a total jackass.”

In a text message from someone I met online:

“To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy is to set our own conditions to the events of each day. To do this is to condition circumstances, instead of being conditioned by them. Please believe me, these are words to live by. Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience. Without hesitation, treat people as if they are what they ought to be, and you can help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

From someone’s Facebook page:

“The secret to happiness does truly lie within our own attitude … and even more so … within our ability to let go … to fully embrace the now… and to fully trust that whatever you are handed at any given moment is exactly what you need … and that in fact it is all perfect … and it is …”

From a Herpes Opportunity forum post just this week:

“The next day, I put my big girl pants on and began the road to my own sort of recovery, learning a lot along the way about self worth, acceptance — both of my diagnosis and also that there are things out of my control, responsibility for my actions, and many other emotions that varied depending on the situation I was in.”

From a forum response post by Adrial:

“And as for herpes? That will work itself out in the same process you are continuing through learning to love and accept yourself as you are. It’s the same process. Once you truly realize on a deep level who you are, that will begin to shift how you relate to others and will allow them to see you on a deeper level, too. I have so much trust in your own process and that time will take care of itself. No matter how long it takes, you are on the path. Don’t look to clock time for an answer of how long it will take. Look to your own heart and ask what it needs. That will tell you your next step.”

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A guide to common eye infections

A guide to common eye infections
© Thinkstock

Conjunctivitis is a harmless infection that affects the conjunctiva, a transparent membrane that covers the inside of the eyelids and lines part of the ocular globe. It’s generally caused by a virus (adenovirus) or by bacteria (staphylococcus, streptococcus, pneumococcus or haemophilus). The infection can also be caused by allergies.

Conjunctivitis is normally diagnosed when:

The eye becomes red and feels itchy.Thin or thick secretions cover the eye, making it difficult to open in the morning.Conjunctivitis, especially when it’s caused by a virus, is mostly harmless and will usually clear up within a few days. At the same time, the infection tends to spread to the other eye, so it’s a good idea to use different drops for each eye. It’s highly contagious, so you have to be careful. Avoid rubbing the infected eye, wash your hands regularly and don’t leave compresses lying around before you wash them to stop the infection spreading to other people. For the same reasons, don’t use eye drops that have expired, as the bottle could contain germs that lead to conjunctivitis.  

Some forms of conjunctivitis can be more serious: in newborn babies who have caught the infection during birth from gonococcus, chlamydia or type 2 herpes in the mother. Conjunctivitis caused by chlamydia trachomatis leads to the development of a trachoma and is the most common cause of blindness in the world. Bad hygiene often plays a role in the development of conjunctivitis. It can be prevented simply through washing your hands and will disappear quickly when treated with antibiotics.

These bacterial infections are also quite common. Small red swellings develop around the roots (or follicles) of the eyelashes around the edge of the eye. These are mostly caused by staphylococcus, as is the case with boils, and a few sties can develop around the eye. After the sty has burst, it will heal by itself. All you have to do is apply an antiseptic cream or a warm, damp dressing to help the process.

Chalazions, similar to sties, are an inflammatory reaction caused by the obstruction of tiny glands called Meibomius, which produce the oily substance in tears. Unlike sties, chalazions are painless, but they can make the eye vulnerable to further infection.

Other tissues in the eye can also become infected. The cornea, a transparent fibrous membrane covering the eye, is particularly susceptible. Keratitis can either be a viral infection (caused by the adenovirus, herpes or varicella zoster viruses), a bacterial infection of a fungal infection. Contact lens wearers are particularly at risk.

Corneal infections can lead to the appearance of erosions and ulceration on the cornea, which alter your vision and can become troublesome. Keratitis usually only affects one eye, making it red, painful and sensitive to light.

If you get keratitis, you should consult an eye specialist. Eye drops with antibacterial or antiviral properties may be prescribed in some cases to fight the infection and prevent the cornea from turning opaque and obscuring your vision in the long term. The symptoms will take longer to clear up than conjunctivitis.

Herpetic keratitis is treated with aciclovir, an antiviral prescription drug that’s taken orally or given intravenously. You can’t use this with creams containing corticoids, as these could worsen the infection. One of the key problems with this form of keratitis is that it tends to come back, so a long course of treatment with aciclovir may be required to get rid of it.

Ophthalmic zoster is a secondary infection of the ophthalmic part of the trigeminal nerve, caused by the varicella zoster virus. It manifests itself through inflammation of the cornea, causing intense pain. It can also affect the uvea, retina and motor nerves in the eye, and can lead to paralysis of the eye in such cases. 

The uvea, which is made up of the iris, ciliary body (which produces the aqueous humour) and a vascular membrane called the choroid, can also be prone to infection. Certain viruses like the cytomegolovirus, and parasites like toxoplasma, can also cause infections of the retina, especially in people with low immunity or people suffering from AIDS. 

Dr Corinne Tutin

More information:
Cold and flu remedies
Conjunctivitis
Baby washing and care

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Op-Ed: Yes, I Have An STD, But It Shouldn't Be a Scarlet Letter

When I tell people what I do professionally – I’m the founder of The STD Project, a website all about STDs from someone with an STD – colorful responses abound. When I launched the site, the shock and utter loss for words I elicited even from friends and family was palpable, to say the least. Never mind the small bit of crazy it takes to spend one’s days brazenly telling others you have an unsightly disease that resides on your genitalia. To make matters worse, I quit an incredibly lucrative career to launch the site.

As an accountant working for a Big Four accounting firm, and then a Fortune 500 corporation, I’m certain my new vocational choice was far from anyone’s mind when I announced the website in April 2012. Understandably, my decision to replace a highly coveted career with a financially insecure and lofty goal had my loved ones worried. But my parents understood why I’d chosen to take action.

In Search of a Better Condom

Fourteen years ago, at 16, I contracted genital herpes. Diagnosed and shamed by my family doctor, I rode home with my mother in tears – convinced I would never have a “normal” sex life, a loving partner, or a healthy relationship ever again. In the years that followed, I was cast out of the church and labeled a harlot, made to sleep separately from friends during overnight stays for fear of transmission, and called a bevy of names. I was scarlet-lettered.

Rest assured, however, this is not a “woe is me” kind of story. On the contrary, having herpes never stopped me from dating, having a (very) healthy sex life, or accomplishing my goals, despite my initial misconceptions. In some ways, it likely lit a necessary fire within me — I’ve always been rather indignant and reticent toward social constructs — so I set off to prove to others, and mostly to myself, that I deserved more and could be more than just a woman with genital herpes. Having auditioned for “American Idol,” conquered my fear of heights by skydiving (three times), run a 25K, and earned two honors degrees, I’ve accomplished that.

So, when I launched The STD Project, I felt I was finally ready to tackle the embarrassment and shame I’d experienced years ago. I was healed, resilient, and could begin to forge a social movement despite the inevitable reproach headed my way.  What I hadn’t anticipated was what happened in the months following the site's launch: an array of questions and earnest interest, an outpouring of support, and message upon message from family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers the world over sharing their personal and unmistakably paralleled sexual health and STD journeys.

Sharing my story with others, reading and listening to theirs, and honing my skills as an educator, speaker, and writer has also afforded me the peace I would have paid anything for years ago. Sometimes it feels selfish, attaining the healing – healing I wasn’t aware I still needed – that The STD Project has prompted.

Keeping me grounded is the realization that there’s still so much work to be done. Stigma abounds and people are made to feel like pariahs – alone, ridiculed, and shunned when diagnosed – the same stigma that paralyzed me, when what we really need are more education, awareness, and treatment.

So, I’m carrying on.

I am an STD advocate. I will continue to be an advocate until others don’t have to endure what was once, for me, a very arduous journey.

Related Stories on TakePart:

• Could Herpes Kill Breast Cancer? 

• HIV Vaccine Under Study May Last a Lifetime

• HIV Epidemic in Latin America, Caribbean: Making Progress

Jenelle Marie is the founder of The STD Project, an award-winning website and progressive movement aimed at eradicating the stigma associated with contracting an STD and living with an STD by facilitating and encouraging awareness, education, and acceptance through storytelling and resource recommendations. You can also find The STD Project on Facebook and Twitter. Look for her e-Book, “The Relationship Survival Guide to Living with an STD” available in 2013. TakePart.com

These are solely the author's opinions and do not represent those of TakePart, LLC or its affiliates.

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Chat Sports Brings on Stanford Economics PhD Student as Sports Analytics Expert

Mar 11 (Reuters) - Leading money winners on the 2013 PGATour on Monday (U.S. unless stated): 1. Brandt Snedeker $2,859,920 2. Tiger Woods $2,671,600 3. Matt Kuchar $2,055,500 4. Steve Stricker $1,820,000 5. Phil Mickelson $1,650,260 6. Hunter Mahan $1,491,965 7. John Merrick $1,343,514 8. Dustin Johnson $1,330,507 9. Russell Henley $1,313,280 10. Michael Thompson $1,254,669 11. Charles Howell III $1,238,219 12. Brian Gay $1,171,721 13. Jason Day $1,080,664 14. Chris Kirk $1,004,053 15. Keegan Bradley $976,993 16. Josh Teater $883,229 17. Bill Haas $876,800 18. Scott Piercy $868,592 19. ...

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Cold sores actually have nothing to do with colds

Fever blisters can be treated in most cases by applying a topical antiviral to the lesion. (Fotolia.com / December 18, 2012)

http://www.kidsdr.com

Fever blisters are fairly common and are also often called cold sores, but have nothing to do with a cold.

These sores typically appear on the outside of the mouth, on the lips. The vast majority (about 95percent) of fever blisters are due to a virus, typically herpes type 1. Because these blisters are caused by a virus, they are contagious and most people will be exposed to the virus during their lifetime.

Children are typically exposed via contact with an adult, sibling, or relative who has a fever blister, or with other children who've mouthed toys, cups, etc., contaminated with the virus.

In many cases, exposure may be asymptomatic. Others who pick up the virus develop painful vesicles appearing both inside the mouth and on the tongue and gums, as well as on the lips, three to five days after exposure.

This initial illness is called herpetic gingivostomatitis. The initial infection tends to be more uncomfortable, and it may take up to two weeks for the lesions to resolve. The most difficult aspect to deal with is oral discomfort, so it's important to make sure young children with the virus stay hydrated. Popsicles are often helpful for this.

Once you've been exposed to the herpes virus, this virus remains in nerve endings where it may remain dormant and asymptomatic for years. About 60 percent of children are positive for HSV-1 by adolescence.

At other times, the virus may become active (in times of stress, after sun exposure, or accompanying fever or menstrual periods), resulting in a fever blister. If a child develops a fever blister, they also are contagious and may spread the illness by touching or picking at the lesion, then touching other people or objects with their mouths.

Fever blisters can be treated in most cases by applying a topical antiviral to the lesion. These prescription medications may shorten the duration of the fever blister by a day or two, especially if started early and applied frequently. If your children experience recurrent fever blisters, speak with your pediatrician about the use of oral antiviral medications.

Remember, if you have a fever blister, don't kiss your baby. Although most viral shedding occurs after the initial HSV infection, you remain contagious with each fever blister so it's better to take precautions for a few days.

(Dr. Sue Hubbard is a nationally known pediatrician and co-host of "The Kid's Doctor" radio show. Submit questions at http://www.kidsdr.com.)

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Getting snippy over adult circumcision

Is it healthy to get circumcised well into your mid-40s? And can not being circumcised cause urinary tract infections?--Anon.

Like my first boyfriend, I thank you sir, for putting the fate of your penis in my very unqualified hands. Circumcision is a hotly contested issue among those who have penises (those without prefer to spend their time learning how to grow basil off of fire escapes). Circumcision among adults is even more controversial, the prevailing theory being, "Well, you've had it this far and it's gone OK, right?"

But just when you thought you and your foreskin could relax a little, maybe take up whale watching, the American Academy of Pediatrics (which is THE authority on tiny penises) decides to throw an anti-bone at your boner. After 30 years of neutrality on the issue of infant male circumcision, in August of 2012 the AAP started endorsing the procedure, claiming that the benefits of circumcision outweigh the risks. And what are the benefits, you ask?

Quite a few, it turns out. You're correct that circumcised men get fewer UTIs than those with intact foreskin (I would be remiss if I didn't point out the self-given name for those against circumcision is "Intactivists." And let's not forget the National Organization of Restoring Men, or NORM, if you will). Your odds of getting a UTI as a dude are 30 times less likely than they are if you're a lady (around 5 to 8 per year per 10,000). However, once you hit 60 years old, your odds are just as high as the ladyfolk. Cut men also have lower risks for HIV, genital herpes, penile cancer, HPV, syphilis, and there are reduced risks of cervical cancers among their female sex partners.

Infant circumcision has been slowly falling out of fashion for decades. In the U.S., circumcision rates declined to 54.5 percent in 2009, from 62.7 percent in 1999. This decline is in direct opposition to the penis aesthetic as dictated by "Sex and the City" (In one episode, Charlotte described her uncircumcised beau as "like a Shar Pei."). Whether circumcision is healthy for you is a matter between you and your doctor, and not just because I'm tired of talking about your penis all the time! Though I can tell you that adult circumcision isn't often covered by health insurance (it isn't considered medically necessary) and that it can cost between $1,500 and $3,000. For that price, you better shop around and make sure your doctor is a cut above the rest. 

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