[Video] Growing through the yuck of having herpes

Guest author from our community: Ashley

It is easy to get sucked into the negative when you get a herpes diagnosis. I remember the day that I was diagnosed. I was at the health center at my university and I had the most horrific first herpes outbreak anyone could imagine. Two solid weeks of not being able to sit, lay down, use the bathroom, or shower without excruciating pain. Not to mention the accompanying nausea, fatigue, and general feelings of misery. The nurse gave me the diagnosis and I felt my heart hit the floor. Who would want me now since I have herpes? With shaking hands I dialed my then boyfriend’s cell phone number. “The rash I have? It’s herpes,” I said, cringing with every word. “I had a feeling that’s what it was,” he replied calmly. “Are you mad?” I asked. “No sweetie,” he said, “you’re still the same person you were an hour ago. It’s just herpes. It’s not life-threatening.”

“Healing is not a linear path. There are twists and turns, forks and loops. It took a lot of tears, many sleepless nights, and a lot of support to get me to where I am now.”I was shocked. I was expecting anger — even fury. I spread herpes to him unknowingly because I didn’t recognize the symptoms, and here he was reassuring me! Together we researched home remedies and information on herpes that was now a part of both of our lives. We supported each other through our first outbreak and subsequent herpes outbreaks, until we finally went our separate ways a few months later. It was wonderful to have someone who understood what I was going through. It was even more incredible to have a partner who cared about me and supported me through a period of pretty intense anger and self-loathing. I felt dirty. I felt unlovable. I felt unattractive. He helped me get through those feelings, at least temporarily.

It wasn’t until I attempted to get back into the dating scene that I realized that not everyone was so understanding. I was rejected countless times. It got to the point that I started disclosing on the first date just to get it over with. My reasoning was at least if (and when) he rejected me, at least we would have only wasted one date. All those feelings of inadequacy, self-loathing, and depression came flooding back. I became convinced that I was never going to find someone who would want to “deal with” my condition. I felt myself descending into what I have now termed, “the yuck.”

The yuck is a place of toxic feelings. It harbors the helpless victim mentality and feeds into feelings of anger, resentment, blame, and sorrow. It is easy to get trapped in the yuck. It’s like quicksand. One minute you’re doing okay and then as soon as you have a bad date, an outbreak, or even hear a herpes joke, you’re right back down in the pit of despair. I felt broken, worthless, and alone.

Gradually, I started to learn more about herpes. I learned about herpes transmission rates and ways to keep outbreaks under control. I learned that there were herpes dating sites and herpes support sites for people with herpes. I found a therapist and did some hard work with her, including letting go of my anger at the guy who raped me (which is how I ended up with herpes). I started to grow. I decided that I needed something to represent my new outlook on life. I’m a firm believer in body reclamation, and for me, that sometimes takes the form of tattoos.

The tattoo of the lotus flower on my right shoulder.

Halloween 2009, three months after my rape and one month after my herpes diagnosis, I decided to get a lotus tattoo on my right shoulder. The lotus flower grows in the mud in shallow water and does not bloom until it reaches the surface. While it’s growing, the flower petals are safe inside the blossom, which keeps them from getting stained by the mud. I always loved the symbolism of the lotus flower, but I didn’t realize how accurate the metaphor was for me until about two years later. I battled my anger, my resentment, and my self-consciousness many times over those two years. Healing is not a linear path. There are twists and turns, forks and loops. It took a lot of tears, many sleepless nights, and a lot of support to get me to where I am now.

Underneath the lotus is a Tibetan Buddhist mantra: “Om Mani Padme Hum.” This mantra is a devotion to Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva of compassion. It serves as a daily reminder that I cannot know where someone else has been or what has led them to this point. It encourages me to show compassion to others as well as myself.

Thanks to Adrial and the Herpes Opportunity, I found the strength to “come out” about having herpes. I told my friends, family, and the internet. I have to say, I have never felt so free in my entire life. It feels wonderful to be able to speak openly about having herpes, instead of saying the word in hushed tones while constantly looking over my shoulder wondering who might be listening and judging. I look forward to talking about herpes during my weekly Skype call with Adrial. I get excited that other people will see our videos and hopefully crack a smile or giggle at our silliness. I feel genuine and authentic, which is a huge improvement over the way I felt when I was still “in the yuck.”

I encourage everyone to take time to reflect on where they are in the growth process. Are you still in the yuck? Don’t worry, there are others there too and you can help each other grow. Are you growing but not quite at the surface? Reach out and let people help you. And to those who have blossomed: Share your beauty with the world. Don’t be afraid of your roots. Remember them; because they are a testament to your strength and perseverance throughout this journey.

Ashley Manta is a feminist sexuality educator, certified consulting hypnotist, and sex-positive pleasure advocate. She has given presentations on topics including sexual violence awareness, positive body image, and sexual empowerment. She is available for a variety of  workshops which you can find on her website or you can follow her on Twitter @ashleymanta.

______________

Added by Adrial:

Our herpes community forum member DrSuz emailed me this after watching the video:
“Adoring the Skype party with you and Ashley. Pure positivity! Here is a favorite poem very pertinent to topic of this video. Enjoy!”

Sweet Darkness

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

— David Whyte
(House of Belonging)

View the original article here

[Video] Growing through the yuck of having herpes

Guest author from our community: Ashley

It is easy to get sucked into the negative when you get a herpes diagnosis. I remember the day that I was diagnosed. I was at the health center at my university and I had the most horrific first herpes outbreak anyone could imagine. Two solid weeks of not being able to sit, lay down, use the bathroom, or shower without excruciating pain. Not to mention the accompanying nausea, fatigue, and general feelings of misery. The nurse gave me the diagnosis and I felt my heart hit the floor. Who would want me now since I have herpes? With shaking hands I dialed my then boyfriend’s cell phone number. “The rash I have? It’s herpes,” I said, cringing with every word. “I had a feeling that’s what it was,” he replied calmly. “Are you mad?” I asked. “No sweetie,” he said, “you’re still the same person you were an hour ago. It’s just herpes. It’s not life-threatening.”

“Healing is not a linear path. There are twists and turns, forks and loops. It took a lot of tears, many sleepless nights, and a lot of support to get me to where I am now.”I was shocked. I was expecting anger — even fury. I spread herpes to him unknowingly because I didn’t recognize the symptoms, and here he was reassuring me! Together we researched home remedies and information on herpes that was now a part of both of our lives. We supported each other through our first outbreak and subsequent herpes outbreaks, until we finally went our separate ways a few months later. It was wonderful to have someone who understood what I was going through. It was even more incredible to have a partner who cared about me and supported me through a period of pretty intense anger and self-loathing. I felt dirty. I felt unlovable. I felt unattractive. He helped me get through those feelings, at least temporarily.

It wasn’t until I attempted to get back into the dating scene that I realized that not everyone was so understanding. I was rejected countless times. It got to the point that I started disclosing on the first date just to get it over with. My reasoning was at least if (and when) he rejected me, at least we would have only wasted one date. All those feelings of inadequacy, self-loathing, and depression came flooding back. I became convinced that I was never going to find someone who would want to “deal with” my condition. I felt myself descending into what I have now termed, “the yuck.”

The yuck is a place of toxic feelings. It harbors the helpless victim mentality and feeds into feelings of anger, resentment, blame, and sorrow. It is easy to get trapped in the yuck. It’s like quicksand. One minute you’re doing okay and then as soon as you have a bad date, an outbreak, or even hear a herpes joke, you’re right back down in the pit of despair. I felt broken, worthless, and alone.

Gradually, I started to learn more about herpes. I learned about herpes transmission rates and ways to keep outbreaks under control. I learned that there were herpes dating sites and herpes support sites for people with herpes. I found a therapist and did some hard work with her, including letting go of my anger at the guy who raped me (which is how I ended up with herpes). I started to grow. I decided that I needed something to represent my new outlook on life. I’m a firm believer in body reclamation, and for me, that sometimes takes the form of tattoos.

The tattoo of the lotus flower on my right shoulder.

Halloween 2009, three months after my rape and one month after my herpes diagnosis, I decided to get a lotus tattoo on my right shoulder. The lotus flower grows in the mud in shallow water and does not bloom until it reaches the surface. While it’s growing, the flower petals are safe inside the blossom, which keeps them from getting stained by the mud. I always loved the symbolism of the lotus flower, but I didn’t realize how accurate the metaphor was for me until about two years later. I battled my anger, my resentment, and my self-consciousness many times over those two years. Healing is not a linear path. There are twists and turns, forks and loops. It took a lot of tears, many sleepless nights, and a lot of support to get me to where I am now.

Underneath the lotus is a Tibetan Buddhist mantra: “Om Mani Padme Hum.” This mantra is a devotion to Avalokiteshvara, the bodhisattva of compassion. It serves as a daily reminder that I cannot know where someone else has been or what has led them to this point. It encourages me to show compassion to others as well as myself.

Thanks to Adrial and the Herpes Opportunity, I found the strength to “come out” about having herpes. I told my friends, family, and the internet. I have to say, I have never felt so free in my entire life. It feels wonderful to be able to speak openly about having herpes, instead of saying the word in hushed tones while constantly looking over my shoulder wondering who might be listening and judging. I look forward to talking about herpes during my weekly Skype call with Adrial. I get excited that other people will see our videos and hopefully crack a smile or giggle at our silliness. I feel genuine and authentic, which is a huge improvement over the way I felt when I was still “in the yuck.”

I encourage everyone to take time to reflect on where they are in the growth process. Are you still in the yuck? Don’t worry, there are others there too and you can help each other grow. Are you growing but not quite at the surface? Reach out and let people help you. And to those who have blossomed: Share your beauty with the world. Don’t be afraid of your roots. Remember them; because they are a testament to your strength and perseverance throughout this journey.

Ashley Manta is a feminist sexuality educator, certified consulting hypnotist, and sex-positive pleasure advocate. She has given presentations on topics including sexual violence awareness, positive body image, and sexual empowerment. She is available for a variety of  workshops which you can find on her website or you can follow her on Twitter @ashleymanta.

______________

Added by Adrial:

Our herpes community forum member DrSuz emailed me this after watching the video:
“Adoring the Skype party with you and Ashley. Pure positivity! Here is a favorite poem very pertinent to topic of this video. Enjoy!”

Sweet Darkness

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

— David Whyte
(House of Belonging)

View the original article here

Herpes Virus Transmission - Herpes Infections Growing Among Youths

According to the Brand-new England Journal of Medicine, it's revealed that one of all the 5 U. S citizen is have been infected with vaginal herpes with an increasing herpes spread rate as high as 30% since the early 70s. Nevertheless, at this present times and age, lots more people have become aware of the herpes virus which has resulted in much less outbreaks.

Researcher reports that this ailment is more rampant in the youngsters particularly teenagers. This virus is very infectious and it's also sexually transmitted. The actual symptoms are usually fever eruption, cold sores, scratching as well as throbbing headache. This sores can be very distressing at first nevertheless after a couple of days the signs and symptoms disappears and the infected person start feeling normal again. At times, the sufferer may well encounter outbreaks that are accompanied with mild the signs of sore and eruption. Some of the locations vaginal herpes virus affect is normally on the sexual organ include the male organ, genitals, buttock, cervix, and also thigh. This virus is categorized into two sorts including herpes virus type 1 which impacts the mouth, face, cheek, pores and skin and herpes type 2 has an effect on the genital area.

The third National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey performed an investigation on about Twenty-four, 000 men and women to be able to have a very clear understanding of herpes simplex virus transmission. They collected blood samples of folks between 1976 and 1980 and also one more investigation was performed once again between 1988 and also 1994 which in turn revealed that about Forty-five million American had been have contracted this virus. They researchers moved further to show the fact that the ailment is a lot more common among black which is believed to stand at about Forty five percent and also whites 17 percent. Women will probably get infected with about 25 % and adult men Seventeen percent.

Research workers are worried that the rising rate of herpes transmission may help accelerate HIV/AIDs as this virus damage the body body's defence mechanism and make man vulnerable to many diseases. The unhappy thing is over 80 percent of people which are actually have been infected with herpes are usually not aware that there're having infectious condition. An individual may have this virus in the body system even if the signs or symptoms are not found.

New development revealed that this particular sexually transmitted disease is actually strongly associated with Kaposi's Sarcoma an uncommon kind of cancer of vascular tissues which have the inclination of affecting skin or perhaps inside organ associated with human.

From the recent high level of herpes transmission, you'll find precautionary measures that one can use for example staying with just one spouse, using condom thou its not a total guarantee since the condom can not cover every one of the eruption as well as sore.

Unlike in earlier times, patient can now hook up with partners without difficulty by simply seeking herpes dating sites and signing up with them. Take note, not everybody you see on this internet dating site carries this contagious condition. Subscribing to such a site could save you a great deal of anxiety of having to tell someone your status since they are already aware.

There are many medicines just like Acyclovir which is excellent for curbing outbreaks, don't forget, right now this isn't a complete remedy for herpes transmission.

Denabson Anknickson is the webmaster of Signs of Herpes. Go to Herpes Transmission in addition to Herpes Test for more info.

Herpes Virus Transmission - Herpes Infections Growing Among Youths

According to the Brand-new England Journal of Medicine, it's revealed that one of all the 5 U. S citizen is have been infected with vaginal herpes with an increasing herpes spread rate as high as 30% since the early 70s. Nevertheless, at this present times and age, lots more people have become aware of the herpes virus which has resulted in much less outbreaks.

Researcher reports that this ailment is more rampant in the youngsters particularly teenagers. This virus is very infectious and it's also sexually transmitted. The actual symptoms are usually fever eruption, cold sores, scratching as well as throbbing headache. This sores can be very distressing at first nevertheless after a couple of days the signs and symptoms disappears and the infected person start feeling normal again. At times, the sufferer may well encounter outbreaks that are accompanied with mild the signs of sore and eruption. Some of the locations vaginal herpes virus affect is normally on the sexual organ include the male organ, genitals, buttock, cervix, and also thigh. This virus is categorized into two sorts including herpes virus type 1 which impacts the mouth, face, cheek, pores and skin and herpes type 2 has an effect on the genital area.

The third National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey performed an investigation on about Twenty-four, 000 men and women to be able to have a very clear understanding of herpes simplex virus transmission. They collected blood samples of folks between 1976 and 1980 and also one more investigation was performed once again between 1988 and also 1994 which in turn revealed that about Forty-five million American had been have contracted this virus. They researchers moved further to show the fact that the ailment is a lot more common among black which is believed to stand at about Forty five percent and also whites 17 percent. Women will probably get infected with about 25 % and adult men Seventeen percent.

Research workers are worried that the rising rate of herpes transmission may help accelerate HIV/AIDs as this virus damage the body body's defence mechanism and make man vulnerable to many diseases. The unhappy thing is over 80 percent of people which are actually have been infected with herpes are usually not aware that there're having infectious condition. An individual may have this virus in the body system even if the signs or symptoms are not found.

New development revealed that this particular sexually transmitted disease is actually strongly associated with Kaposi's Sarcoma an uncommon kind of cancer of vascular tissues which have the inclination of affecting skin or perhaps inside organ associated with human.

From the recent high level of herpes transmission, you'll find precautionary measures that one can use for example staying with just one spouse, using condom thou its not a total guarantee since the condom can not cover every one of the eruption as well as sore.

Unlike in earlier times, patient can now hook up with partners without difficulty by simply seeking herpes dating sites and signing up with them. Take note, not everybody you see on this internet dating site carries this contagious condition. Subscribing to such a site could save you a great deal of anxiety of having to tell someone your status since they are already aware.

There are many medicines just like Acyclovir which is excellent for curbing outbreaks, don't forget, right now this isn't a complete remedy for herpes transmission.

Denabson Anknickson is the webmaster of Signs of Herpes. Go to Herpes Transmission in addition to Herpes Test for more info.

Herpes Virus Transmission - Herpes Infections Growing Among Youths

According to the Brand-new England Journal of Medicine, it's revealed that one of all the 5 U. S citizen is have been infected with vaginal herpes with an increasing herpes spread rate as high as 30% since the early 70s. Nevertheless, at this present times and age, lots more people have become aware of the herpes virus which has resulted in much less outbreaks.

Researcher reports that this ailment is more rampant in the youngsters particularly teenagers. This virus is very infectious and it's also sexually transmitted. The actual symptoms are usually fever eruption, cold sores, scratching as well as throbbing headache. This sores can be very distressing at first nevertheless after a couple of days the signs and symptoms disappears and the infected person start feeling normal again. At times, the sufferer may well encounter outbreaks that are accompanied with mild the signs of sore and eruption. Some of the locations vaginal herpes virus affect is normally on the sexual organ include the male organ, genitals, buttock, cervix, and also thigh. This virus is categorized into two sorts including herpes virus type 1 which impacts the mouth, face, cheek, pores and skin and herpes type 2 has an effect on the genital area.

The third National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey performed an investigation on about Twenty-four, 000 men and women to be able to have a very clear understanding of herpes simplex virus transmission. They collected blood samples of folks between 1976 and 1980 and also one more investigation was performed once again between 1988 and also 1994 which in turn revealed that about Forty-five million American had been have contracted this virus. They researchers moved further to show the fact that the ailment is a lot more common among black which is believed to stand at about Forty five percent and also whites 17 percent. Women will probably get infected with about 25 % and adult men Seventeen percent.

Research workers are worried that the rising rate of herpes transmission may help accelerate HIV/AIDs as this virus damage the body body's defence mechanism and make man vulnerable to many diseases. The unhappy thing is over 80 percent of people which are actually have been infected with herpes are usually not aware that there're having infectious condition. An individual may have this virus in the body system even if the signs or symptoms are not found.

New development revealed that this particular sexually transmitted disease is actually strongly associated with Kaposi's Sarcoma an uncommon kind of cancer of vascular tissues which have the inclination of affecting skin or perhaps inside organ associated with human.

From the recent high level of herpes transmission, you'll find precautionary measures that one can use for example staying with just one spouse, using condom thou its not a total guarantee since the condom can not cover every one of the eruption as well as sore.

Unlike in earlier times, patient can now hook up with partners without difficulty by simply seeking herpes dating sites and signing up with them. Take note, not everybody you see on this internet dating site carries this contagious condition. Subscribing to such a site could save you a great deal of anxiety of having to tell someone your status since they are already aware.

There are many medicines just like Acyclovir which is excellent for curbing outbreaks, don't forget, right now this isn't a complete remedy for herpes transmission.

Denabson Anknickson is the webmaster of Signs of Herpes. Go to Herpes Transmission in addition to Herpes Test for more info.

Online Dating For People With Herpes - My Secret of a Growing Industry

Okay, so you've contracted herpes through some person who either didn't know they had it or didn't care that they were spreading it. When you found out, you were really angry, and I don't blame you - you thought your love life was over, that nobody would ever want to date you or be with you if they found out that you had herpes.

Sadly this is the case for so many people who, when they find out they have contracted herpes, they begin to hibernate from the world and consider themselves unworthy of a healthy, normal relationship. Fortunately there are some wonderful webmasters and business owners who have recognized this reality and have realized that more and more people are willing to admit that they are herpes positive who would benefit from online dating for people with herpes.

What could be better than an online dating site where you never have to be ashamed of your status because everybody on the site is just like you - they've got herpes BUT, like you, are not selfish enough to spread it to other people, so have chosen the route of online dating for people with herpes to find love and start dating again.

So, the answer to your question - online dating for people with herpes - is there such a thing is a categorical yes. And, in fact, the industry is growing daily more and more people who are infected with herpes find this safe dating haven where they no longer have to be embarrassed or ashamed. How do you start to find love again?

The website has many STD dating sites that you can cruise through and check out and join. Some have better security settings than others, some have more members with whom you can communicate than others. So, check them out and restore your love life! You deserve it!

Click here [http://www.stdlovelocator.com] if you want to find love again. My name is Hermione Spencer and I'd like to help! Visit my STD dating site [http://www.stdlovelocator.com] today where you will find a safe dating environment in which you may finally find your soul mate.