Apr 02, Herpes Transmission: What You Must Know

Herpes transmission is the biggest concern for people with herpes. Often they don’t mind having symptoms as much as they worry about transmitting the virus. It seems that many would consider herpes to be no more than a nasty form of eczema if the risk of giving it to someone else did not exist. I had confirmation of this when I did an online survey with people who had already bought one of my books, Herpes Wise. To understand why people with herpes are so concerned with transmitting to someone else, one has to understand how herpes is transmitted and how tricky it can be to prevent transmission.

Herpes is a highly contagious virus that can be transmitted with or without any outward signs that the virus is present. Transmission is usually through skin-on-skin contact such as kissing and sexual contact. It can also be passed on by sharing a drinking glass or lipstick.

What makes herpes transmission especially hard to avoid is that carriers may not show any outward signs of the virus, but still be “shedding” the virus from their skin. It is not possible to predict when this asymptomatic shedding occurs.

Genital herpes is usually transmitted through sexual contact. Direct contact with the virus includes kissing or caressing infected areas and vaginal, anal or oral sex. If you have a cold sore and kiss a partner’s genital area you can infect that person with genital herpes.

Cold sores are a sign of oral herpes. They are usually on the lips, but can also appear inside the mouth and even on the face or neck. Oral herpes can also be passed on by kissing, with or without tongues. If you have a cold sore, you are infectious from the first sign of it.

The herpes virus can be spread from one part of the body to another, especially to the eyes. It is important to avoid touching an infected area during an outbreak and remember to wash your hands if you do.

There is little chance of catching the herpes virus through shared towels or toilet seats because the virus cannot live for very long outside the body. It is practically impossible to transmit herpes at the swimming pool, because the chlorine in the water kills the virus.

If you are someone who has herpes, then you will definitely want to inform yourself about the virus itself and all the ways you can prevent both oral herpes and genital herpes transmission.

Further readings:

Four Top Herpes Transmission Facts You Must Know to Prevent Spreading Herpes

Genital Herpes: How is the Virus Transmitted and how you can Prevent Spreading it?

Oral Herpes Transmission and Cold Sores: Learn The Facts!

View the original article here

Mar 21, Genital Herpes Transmission: How is the Virus Transmitted and how you can Preven

Knowledge of the herpes virus, how it is transmitted and how genital herpes transmission can be prevented, is essential for people who suspect they may have contracted the virus and want to avoid passing it on to others, more especially to a sexual partner.

It is very important to note that it is possible to transmit genital herpes even if there are no visible outward signs of the virus. The virus is usually transmitted through direct skin on skin contact, through oral, vaginal or anal sex. It can also be transmitted by a person with a cold sore who kisses a partner’s genital area, so it is strongly recommended to avoid oral sex in the case of an outbreak of facial herpes.

Genital herpes transmission is not necessarily immediately apparent and people can be in a sexual relationship for a long time before developing symptoms for the first time. This can be the case when one of the partners in the relationship is, unknowingly, an asymptomatic carrier of HSV (herpes simplex virus), exhibiting no outward signs of having the virus. It is impossible to predict when asymptomatic shedding of the virus occurs, but it is estimated to be on a minimum of 5% of days in any given year.

This is an excellent argument in favour of testing for the herpes virus if you have had previous sexual partners and want to embark on a new relationship. Proper diagnosis is essential in determining the presence of the virus, the type of virus present and the best form for treatment for the virus.

In the case of active genital herpes, the use of condoms is an obvious way of avoiding genital herpes transmission along with that of a number of other sexually transmitted diseases. While using condoms is not 100% fail-safe, it can reduce the risk of transmission by up to 50%.

Being upfront with your partner about your genital herpes, while a difficult subject to broach, is essential in preventing its spread. It has been proven in scientific studies that those who reveal to a partner that they are carriers of the herpes virus are responsible for a reduction in its spread.

Another way in which you can avoid transmitting herpes is by watching out for any early warning signs or symptoms which may indicate that an attack is beginning. All sexual contact should be avoided whenever there is an attack in order to minimize the risk.

Choosing a treatment for genital herpes is another important factor in preventing the spread of the virus. You should talk to your medical practitioner about the kind of treatment which is best for you and for the type of herpes which you have contracted. Some people prefer to avoid traditional medication, while others find that suppressive therapy or the use of proven anti-virals is instrumental in avoiding the risk of transmission.

Whatever the course of treatment you decide on, the knowledge of what constitutes risk-taking behaviour, the ways in which the herpes simplex virus is transmitted and the ways in which you can tackle it will be essential in preventing genital herpes transmission.
Four Top Herpes Transmission Facts You Must Know to Prevent Spreading Herpes

Herpes Transmission: What You Must Know!

Oral Herpes Transmission and Cold Sores: Learn The Facts!

Back to top of genital herpes transmission

View the original article here

May 07, Herpes Foods: it’s even worse than we thought

Unpleasant and often dangerous side-effects of drugs used in the treatment of serious diseases are well-documented. Patients and clinicians often have the tremendously difficult task of weighing the side-effects of a drug against its efficiency before deciding whether or not to pursue a course of treatment.

So would you recommend prescribing a drug whose known side-effects include nausea, vomiting, dizziness, appetite loss, diarrhea, liver and kidney toxicity to a patient who was perfectly healthy?

That is the controversial decision taken by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in the case of the HIV drug Truvada. The drug, already approved for the treatment of AIDS in conjunction with other drugs, does not rid the body of HIV but rather inhibits its replication in the body. Now the FDA has approved the drug as a preventive measure for uninfected men who have sex with men, for an uninfected person whose sexual partner is HIV positive and (most controversially) for individuals who engage in “risky sexual behavior” which could result in HIV infection.

The 22-strong FDA committee heard representations from over 40 healthcare professionals, AIDS advocates and patients, most of whom advised strongly against the drug’s approval. But after assessing data from studies conducted inBotswanaandKenya, they came down on the side of approval, though not unanimously.

Supporters of the decision included Kirk Myers, CEO of Abounding Prosperity Inc and himself HIV-positive, who said: “People need to be given the option to choose. This drug is wanted.”

But Robert Elliott, a registered nurse, stated: “There is no question that, if efforts on using [Truvada] are widespread, condom use and other means of preventing HIV infection will decrease.”

Michael Weinstein, president and founder of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation described Truvada’s approval as a preventive measure a “reckless act”.

AIDS activist Miki Jackson said: “To knowingly recommend a drug as powerful as Truvada with such serious side-effects and given to people who are perfectly healthy is frightening.” adding that giving the drug approval was “akin to issuing an engraved invitation for lawsuits.”

View the original article here

Follow hygienic ways to stave off genital infections

Vaginal infections are caused by a decrease in the natural acidity levels.

The genital area normally produces an odour-free, clear, slightly cloudy, non-irritating discharge. This discharge can vary according to the different time of her menstrual cycle. Certain bacteria live naturally inside the organ as a part of the defence mechanism. They produce acid, which fight infection causing bacteria, yeast, viruses and fungi. Whenever there is a decrease in the acid produced, there is a chance of infection, said Dr Deba Jalal, Specialist Obs and Gynaecology at the Aster Medical Centre in Dubai.

--Discharge with an unpleasant odour.

--Painful urination

--Itching or burning senation in the area

--Discomfort during intercourse.

--Bleeding after intercourse

--Abdominal pains

--Swelling, lumps, redness, blisters or ulceration of the vulva or anus while passing urine.

--Change in the colour and amount of discharge

Candida or yeast infections: Such infection can cause itching and redness of the genital area. It produces a thick, white discharge with the consistency of cottage cheese, although the discharge may not be present in certain cases.

Thrush: The factors that trigger the growth of thrush are pregnancy, antibiotics, diabetes, perfumed soaps or feminine hygiene sprays, contraceptive pills, tight underwear etc.

Bacterial Vaginosis (BV)

When there is abnormal growth of natural bacteria in the female genital area, it can lead to a discharge that is usually thin, and grey with a fishy smell.

Though BV is not a sexually transmitted disease, a new sexual partner or a high lifetime number of sexual partners may lead to such infections.

Trichomoniasis

Caused by a parasite called trichomonas vaginalis, this is usually transmitted through unprotected sexual intercourse. The symptoms manifest as a heavy, frothy, yellow-green, fishy smelling discharge.

Chlamydia

Seven in 10 women and half of the men with Chlamydia do not show any symptoms. In women, this infection can spread to uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes. Left untreated, it can lead to ectopic pregnancies and infertility.

Gonorrhoea

Gonorrhoea is caused by the bacterium Neisseria Gonorrhoea passed on through unprotected sex.

Genital Herpes

This virus invades the body through unprotected sexual contact and stays in the body for the rest of one's life. The symptoms include: Painful blisters, pain passing urine, discharge, fever, tiredness.

Genital warts

Caused by human papilloma virus (HPV) resulting in abnormal growth of cells. It is transmitted through sexual or skin-to skin contact. Small round warts appear on or around the genital area. Such infections can be prevented by following safe and hygienic ways. -- news@khaleejtimes.com

View the original article here

Circumcision Ritual Under Fire Due to Risk of Herpes Infection

NEW YORK -- A controversial Jewish circumcision ritual is under fire after allegedly causing the deaths of two infants and exposing potentially thousands more to the risk of herpes infections.

New York City health officials are pushing a proposed regulation that would require parents to sign a consent waiver before they take part in a circumcision ritual called "metzitzah b'peh," typically practiced by ultra-Orthodox Jews. The ritual potentially poses a fatal risk to newborns, according to the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene.

The legislation was proposed at a Board of Health meeting last month by Dr. Jay K. Varma, deputy commissioner for disease control for New York City's health department, after 11 infants contracted neonatal herpes between November 2000 and December 2011, after the circumcision ritual. Two of the infants died.

Jews regularly practice circumcision as part of their religion, but mostly ultra-Orthodox Jews practice metzitzah b'peh, during which the mohel, or person performing the procedure, orally sucks the blood from the infant's newly circumcised penis.

The numbers reported came to light as the city's health department launched an investigation after the infant deaths were reported in New York, the most recent in September in Brooklyn.

The health department reported last month that an estimated 20,493 infants in New York City were exposed to direct oral suction. Baby boys who were reportedly circumcised "with confirmed or probable orogenital suction" between April 2006 and December 2011 had an estimated risk of contracting neonatal herpes (HSV-1) infection of 24.4 per 100,000 cases, making the risk 3.4 times greater than those infants who did not have direct oral suction, according to the health department findings.

In a statement advising New York parents to refrain from direct oral-genital suction during circumcision, New York City Health Commissioner Dr. Thomas Farley said, "There is no safe way to perform oral suction on any open wound in a newborn.

"Parents considering ritual circumcision need to know that circumcision should only be performed under sterile conditions, like any other procedures that create open cuts, whether by mohelim or medical professionals."

Reports of infant herpes infections and deaths are not new.

In November of 2004, the Department of Health reported that twin male infants contracted neonatal herpes after the ritual circumcision, one of whom died.

Spokesman Jerry Schmetter of the Brooklyn Defense Attorney's office said a criminal investigation regarding a rabbi who was linked to infant herpes cases, was "still ongoing."

In the case of the Brooklyn infant's death in September, the parents of the baby refused to tell authorities who performed the ritual.

The United Jewish Organizations of Williamsburg in Brooklyn could not be reached for comment.

Jeffrey Mazlin, a certified mohel and physician in New York who regularly practices circumcision procedures, said "only the more orthodox, the more traditional mohels" perform the metzitzah b'peh.

"[Orthodox Jews] look at it in terms of religion being more important than the individual, whereas someone who is more liberal will make sure that the individual's rights are taken care of," he said.

But the ritual is not just an upholding of a Jewish tradition, but also a firm reminder of their beliefs.

"Because blood is the life-giving element, they believe that it's supposed to be part of the whole procedure," Mazlin said.

The little blood that is drawn from the newly circumcised penis is usually left alone or wiped away under regular procedures, he said.

"There are no known medical benefits to sucking [the blood]." he said.

View the original article here

Herpes Treatment Site: Top Reasons to Avoid Prescription HSV Drugs

While prescription herpes medications can successfully manage HSV, there are alternatives that are equally as effective, have no side effects and cost much less. In order to educate consumers about HSV 1 and 2, Herpes Treatment Site has developed a list of the top reasons to avoid prescription HSV drugs.

(PRWEB) June 25, 2012

Once infected with the herpes simplex virus (commonly known as HSV), an individual has a number of options to deal with the various symptoms and signs. Oftentimes, consumers automatically turn to prescription drugs to deal with their illnesses despite the fact that many ingredients found in nature can manage their ailments with fewer side effects and at a lower cost. Herpes Treatment Site’s “Top Reasons to Avoid Prescription HSV Drugs” was developed in an effort to educate readers of the negative aspects of herpes simplex virus medications.

The Top Reasons to Avoid Prescription HSV Drugs

1. They require a doctor’s prescription and regular office visits.

Not only do you have to visit the doctor for your initial prescription, you must go back regularly for refills and checkups.

2. They can be extremely expensive.

While insurance can sometimes shrink the total out-of-pocket cost of prescriptions, individuals without insurance are forced to absorb the total price of the medications.

3. They are often accompanied by an array of unwanted side effects.

Common side effects of prescription herpes drugs include dizziness, headache, nausea, stomach pain, vomiting and more.

4. There are a number of natural ingredients that are more effective and safe.

5. They can interfere with your other medications.

6. Natural alternatives can offer additional health benefits that prescription medications cannot.

Many of the ingredients used in herbal herpes treatments offer benefits other than simply suppressing HSV and encouraging outbreaks to heal.

7. They can cause severe side effects in some individuals.

Severe side effects that plague prescription herpes treatments include hallucinations, seizures, depression, speech problems, difficulty breathing and more.

Editor's Notes: HerpesTreatmentSite.com was founded to help provide answers and support for both those infected with HSV 1, HSV 2 or shingles and others who are simply interested in learning about the herpes virus.

Jake Fisher
Herpes Treatment Site
1-800-365-1129
Email Information

View the original article here

Virtual (phone-only) herpes support group [VIDEO]

Join us for a facilitated LIVE over-the-phone support group for whoever wants to share, however you would like to share. Be there to talk or be there to listen. Be there to support or be there to be supported.

Or all the above.

Click here to grab a 50% off seat »

What you get out of the deal:

A private, safe space over the phone for you to talk about herpesEither share your herpes story or support others by listening to their storiesCome once or many timesGet herpes information from people who live itNormalizing herpes and minimizing shameThe support group becomes whatever it needs to be based on who shows up on the call (could include people simply sharing their story and getting feedback from others or could turn into one-on-one or group activities)Other people with herpes who understand where you’re coming from (there’s always the option at the end of each call to get linked up with people to further the connection)Continue the conversation on the herpes forum afterward

Here’s what people are saying!

TESTIMONIALS FOR VIRTUAL HERPES SUPPORT GROUP:

“I really enjoyed the herpes opportunity virtual support group tonight. It was a really great experience connecting with everyone, and I like the way you conducted everything. It felt like a really safe, open space for everyone to be.” — DB“After hanging up [from the herpes virtual support group] tonight, I feel so much better. I can’t begin to explain how much I appreciate this group. Much adoration!!” — JR“Thank you so much for creating the Herpes Opportunity. It has changed my life. I have had herpes for three years now and there have been tough times with self defeat/shame. I’m recently divorced and have dealt with feelings of ‘who will want me.’ Not anymore. I now see this as an opportunity to a strong, happy, fulfilled self and relationship in the future thanks to you.” — SM“Thanks again for all of this. It really helped me out in a big way. This is exactly what I needed, what I was looking for. Last night was one of the first times that I didn’t feel alone, and felt accepted with having H. I have been looking for a sense of community since my diagnosis, and I found it here. Just hearing people go through the same trials and troubles that I am going through gave me so much strength and hope that there really are good people in the world. I can’t wait for the next group, to be able to connect with others.” — AF“Awesome support group!! I loved it. This herpes virtual support group is a means to surround myself by beautiful and authentic people. In our daily lives, we  usually have to hide something or appear a certain way for other people. I love this support group because the gap between who we appear to be and who we are is closed. Authenticity shows up. The good, the bad, and the ugly are all there and there is no need to cover anything up. Connecting with other people in this very real container helps me realize that I am not alone and that life goes on for everyone, regardless of what circumstances show up. Thank you so much for creating this safe space to share, deepen my awareness, and move forward!” — CW“I just want let you know that the group was AMAZING! You really did a great job. I learned soooo much about myself as well as the situation at hand (which really isn’t a situation). I thank you for being there to listen and relate. You are just a blessing. I would like to stay connected to every participant as well as you.” — CL“The group helped me open up about my herpes. It allowed me to become more comfortable talking about it and dealing with my diagnosis. Hearing others’ stories made me realize on a deeper level that I am not alone. It’s been a real eye-opener for me.  It’s great to have a group of people to talk to that know what I deal with on a daily basis.” — JM

Looking forward to connecting with you on the call soon!

Click here to grab a 50% off seat »

View the original article here

Herpes healing process: The 5 stages

[Note: To be clear, this article is about your process in healing in your mind and in your relationship to yourself. If you're looking for help with the physical part of dealing with herpes, check out these articles.]

When you first get genital herpes, a process begins. This process is known as the Kübler-Ross grief cycle and applies to anyone who has been impacted by a life-changing circumstance, everything from people dying of cancer to people like us dealing with the ramifications of an incurable STD. Also, please read The herpes self-acceptance process.

Onto the 5 stages of herpes healing …

Notice which stage of the process you are in right now. Don’t shame it or judge it, simply notice. The two vital pieces to this process: Awareness and self-acceptance.

1. Denial: a temporary defense for feeling
“I don’t really have herpes. The test was wrong.”
[after an initial herpes outbreak] “That was just razor burn.”

2. Anger: you recognize denial can’t continue
“Why was I such an idiot to have sex with that person?”
“I hate the person who gave this to me. They should pay for doing this to me.” (victim mentality)

3. Bargaining: hope that you can change what can’t be changed
“You know, a cure for herpes has to be right around the corner. Medicine is advancing in leaps and bounds.”
[talking to a higher power] “I promise if I don’t actually have herpes that I won’t have questionable sex with anyone ever again.”
Do you find yourself hoping to change what can’t be changed? Read this post on serenity

4. Depression: giving in, letting go of unrealistic hope that’s holding you back from what is, shedding old belief patterns
“What’s the point? Why bother? There’s no hope.”
This might translate to a feeling of being shut down, numbness, maybe crying, grieving, feeling loss.

5. Acceptance: come to terms with what herpes means in your life, and that who you are is more important than what you have
“Herpes is just something that I will deal with in my life. It’s actually not as bad as I ever imagined. I can move on and live my life. It’s going to be okay. I am okay.”

Notes:

These stages don’t have to occur in order.These stages can be skipped/revisited.These stages shouldn’t be forced.Simply notice where you are right now.

So, what stage are you in now? Notice that without shaming it or judging it. Don’t use the awareness of these stages to further shame or judge yourself. Just notice and allow yourself to be in the process of healing. Take care of yourself. That’s the vital part of this process: Awareness and self-acceptance.

View the original article here

Less herpes shame, more self love

“Shame loves secrets. Shame cannot stand being spoken.” — Brene Brown

The shame of having herpes tends to pull us into our own scary shadows (even though just a few feet away in the light are plenty of people telling you to quit the negative fantasy BS and hear that you’re worthy of a deluge of love.) Shame has us stay blind in the darkness of our own self-defeating mind-cage to try to deal with it on our own (like any strong person should be able to do, right?). But that has us telling ourselves the (false) story that we are alone. We are not alone. YOU are NOT alone! Squash the story! The more you can really allow yourself to get that, the less shame you will have, the more likely you will be to reach out when you need it, the more love will be available to let in, the more healing and growth happens. The more you free yourself of stigmatizing labels, the more free you are to be YOU. And what’s more lovable than that? (Rhetorical question.)

“An addict needs shame like a man dying of thirst needs saltwater.” (Terrence Real)

Brown (whose work also appears in this post) defines shame as “The intensely painful experience or belief that you’re flawed and unworthy of love and belonging.” And what better excuse to believe all those horrible things than herpes? Then somewhere along the line, some less-than-nice voice inside of us got the bright idea that if it shames us enough, we’ll somehow rewind time and be free of this virus. On some level, we believe that if we punish ourselves, the pain will go away. How ironic is that? Much of the pain is self-inflicted and in our own heads anyway. Why do we put ourselves through so much? What happens when we stop beating ourselves up?

How is shame like saltwater to the thirsty?
Brown says “A belief that we’re not worthy of love and belonging is what drives most of the destructive behavior we see.” So true. We seem to by default choose the stick to beat ourselves with instead of feeding ourselves a healthy carrot. We somehow think that if we heap on enough shame, that will make things better, but it’s not quenching our thirst for love. Shame is just making things worse. Like if someone dying of thirst assumes saltwater will quench the thirst; but instead, the saltwater only makes the thirst worse. So it’s not about avoiding the shame by trying to somehow prove our worthiness … You ARE worthy. Period. Know that. Own it. You wouldn’t be feeling so bad if a part of you didn’t already know that. Once you get that you are worthy of love, you will start treating yourself differently, which will pave the way for the love from others to come charging in.

We hear of the stigma of herpes and create a story about ourselves that doesn’t match with who we truly are. Are you stigmatizing yourself? Stop it! You don’t deserve it! Love yourself instead. Be compassionate with yourself instead. It will take you so much further.

Sounds great, but how the heck do I move past the shame?
Think about your healing process in stages of opening up yourself to more and more love and support. If shame is about closing down, self-love is about opening up. First thing I want you to notice: You’re here reading this article. That’s the first step. You’re reading this because you care about yourself enough to feel better and to stop the self-abuse. Good news!

Next steps:

Connect with people who care. Reach out more when you need it. And the reaching out doesn’t necessarily have to have the whole herpes label attached to it; maybe it’s simply going out to lunch with a friend to catch up. Connecting with loved ones is a great way to prove that you’re not alone. The herpes support forum is also a great place to start this process of reaching out to people who get what you’re going through.Over-the-phone herpes support group. Attending our live virtual herpes support group might be your next step to start talking more openly about where you are with herpes; it’s over the phone, so you can have as much privacy as you’d like.Get an (h) buddy! We also have a herpes buddy system (contact me directly for that) where we’ll match you up one-on-one with someone else who has herpes so you two can talk about whatever you’d like.In-person herpes support groups. And there are plenty of in-person herpes support groups out there, too.

When it comes down to it, there are plenty of opportunities to let go of the shame and move into your life. You get to make the decision.

View the original article here

The key to being happy with herpes? Give up hope.

Are you suffering with herpes? (Key word here being “suffering.”) Well, here’s the secret to moving on, to being happy: Just give up.

Hold on, stop the temper tantrum. Get up off the floor. Let’s be clear: Don’t give up on everything. Keep that good, positive hope. Give up that irrational hope you’re clinging to. That just-out-of-your-reach hope that’s keeping you from moving on with your life. Give up that nagging hope of finding a herpes cure (although it may happen). Give up hope that you’ll never have an outbreak again (although they do lessen with time). Give up hope that one day saying “I have herpes” to a potential partner will be easy-breezy (although disclosing can actually be a connecting experience). Give up hope that at some point, that herpes outbreak won’t impact you in any way (although with time, it impacts you less and less).

Life naturally changes, shifts, evolves. We lose things, we gain things, and through it all we learn to live under constantly evolving circumstances. We learn about ourselves. So evolve! Live your life as it is right now.

Sound dismal? It’s only dismal if you expect that what you’re hoping for is possible. If it’s not possible, then you’re painting yourself into a pretty hopeless corner. It’s like holding out hope to win the lottery, waiting for that day that your true happiness will come. Your life is officially on hold until the lottery is won. You find yourself waiting forever (99.987% odds) — not to mention your numb fingertips from that mountain of scratch-off tickets.

Herpes and colostomy bags
Yes, herpes can be shitty at times (please excuse the necessary language), but this study takes shitty quite literally. A recent study published in the November 2009 issue of Health Psychology journal dealt with adults who had their colons removed. It shows us the “dark side of hope.” Out of the 71 no-colon patients, 41 were told they could have surgery to reconnect their bowels, while the rest were told nothing more could be done — they would have to learn to live with a colostomy bag.

Dr. Peter Ubel is one of the authors of the study. He says, “We’re not saying hope is a bad thing. What we’re pointing out is that there can be a dark side of hope. It can cause people to put their lives on hold. Instead of moving on and trying to make the best of circumstances, you can think, ‘my circumstances are going to change eventually — no point in dealing with these circumstances.’”

What are you waiting for?
So stop waiting! Giving up irrational hope is actually freeing: It frees you up to live your life with your current circumstances. Life naturally changes, shifts, evolves. We lose things, we gain things, and through it all we learn to live under constantly evolving circumstances. We learn about ourselves. So evolve! Live your life as it is right now.

“Worst” case scenario, a cure is never found, but you have learned to live with the fact that this simple little virus is just something to deal with, not worth pausing your entire life for.

“Best” case scenario, a cure is found and you can promptly throw this article in the trash and find somewhere else to focus your hope.

But either way, at least you didn’t wait.

View the original article here

Herpes and serenity

I believe there is truth in everything. This is no exception. The Serenity Prayer is one of those truisms that can apply to so much. So let’s apply it to herpes and see how its truth can help us move past blaming ourselves and hanging out in the past, in the “what ifs.”

Taking this idea to heart allows us to give ourselves the break we deserve. It takes us off the hamster wheel of self-destructive thought patterns and into the reality and beauty of our lives.

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

How does this apply to living with herpes?

“Accept the things I cannot change.”
There’s a lot of forgiveness in accepting your own past and the choices you made that shaped your now. You made a decision to sleep with someone. You got herpes. That part is done. Accept that and a shift occurs: there’s no more spinning your wheels, hoping for that time machine or that herpes cure. You have accepted “I have herpes” … now what?“Courage to change the things that I can.”
It takes courage to move out of being a herpes victim and into being the kind of person who is empowered, able to make decisions that . Changing the things you can might involve changing those disempowering beliefs you might have had about what having herpes or any STD means. Did you used to judge those dirty people with STDs, but then you found yourself being that same person you used to judge? A change of beliefs is in order. And that takes work. But it’s good work. It clears out the cobwebs of beliefs that aren’t working for you. It reminds me of the book The Four Agreements in that you have many, many beliefs (Ruiz calls them Agreements) that have been made throughout your life. Some beliefs are true to you and others aren’t. You get to look at all the beliefs that you both consciously and unconsciously hold and ask yourself if they are serving you where you are now. Have you looked at your beliefs around herpes lately? Are they serving you in moving forward in your life in a self-accepting way?“Wisdom to know the difference.”
Notice those times that you have that argument with yourself: “This would be so much easier if I didn’t have herpes … If only I hadn’t slept with that person …” Knowing the difference between the things you can’t change and the things you can allows you to put your energy into productive, life-affirming action. And changing certain beliefs around herpes may shine the light on other beliefs you’re holding in other aspects of your life that aren’t helping you either.

Taking this prayer to heart allows us to give ourselves the break we deserve. It takes us off the hamster wheel of self-destructive thought patterns and into the reality and beauty of our lives.

View the original article here

Herpes and love

[Posted on Valentine's Day] Today the world is celebrating Valentines Day (also known as “Singles Awareness Day.”) There’s a lot of talk of lovers loving together in a warm cocoon of lovely love … almost nauseating, huh? If you happen to be single on this day of love (with herpes to boot), it might feel like a cold, lonely day — like the day itself is rubbing your face in your unfortunate singlehood. At first blush, herpes and love might seem to be mutually exclusive: one wipes out the other. But that’s simply not a fair way to look at it when you just want to be happy. Let’s look at how we can turn this beloved holiday into a positive, shall we?

“Self-love is to know that you are completely loved and completely lovable. Upon observing your understanding of your own self-worth, the world mirrors that knowing back to you … Love is attention without judgment.” (Chopra)

This holiday has been billed as a day specifically for couples love. Why so greedy? Why do couples get it all? You can still celebrate it as a day of love: Loving yourself … and you don’t have to be corny about it (unless corny works for you). How has your relationship to yourself been with herpes? For many people I talk with, their default mode is self-judgment, self-criticism, shame and blame. If you can relate to that at all, then maybe self-love can simply mean you get to give yourself a break! Tomorrow you can get back to beating yourself up if you really want to. But today, you put down the flog, regardless about whatever stage of the herpes healing process you are in. Today is all about compassion for yourself.

A post on herpes forum speaks to this unfortunate way we tend to treat ourselves: “And then I thought about me: How could I have such compassion for [someone else with herpes] and be so mean to myself for years about the same exact condition? I would never be mean to anyone in the real world like I was to myself … the horrible self-messages I sent to myself. Reading [another person's] story (and others) remind me where I need to show compassion to myself and how to soften my self-judgment into a greater kindness.”

Deepak Chopra says on his guided meditation for attracting and being in love (video embedded below), “Self-love is to know that you are completely loved and completely lovable. Upon observing your understanding of your own self-worth, the world mirrors that knowing back to you.” Cool, huh? It’s a fancy way of saying that you can’t be fully loved by another until you fully love yourself. Love yourself as you are. Not as you should be. Not as you wish you were. Not as you eventually will be. Love yourself as you are. Right now. Everything. The good, the bad, and everything in between is loved. Because, after all, in the absence of judgment, everything simply is. “Love is attention without judgment.” Wow.

Love and compassion for yourself means first noticing how you treat yourself to begin with. Only things that you are aware of do you have choice about. If your self-criticism and self-judgment stays under the radar of the conscious mind, then you have no choice: The self-masochism continues. However, the moment you notice those abusive voices in your head, you then have the choice to not treat yourself that way. Self-compassion leads to more self-compassion. And a hint right off the bat: Once you notice yourself beating yourself up, don’t beat yourself up for beating yourself up. Naughty, naughty!

And self-love doesn’t necessarily mean forcing yourself to be happy. It’s all about meeting yourself where you are right now. It means being authentic. No forcing, no trickery. Happiness will come naturally. Sadness will, too. What do you need today to take care of yourself? It might be a bubble bath or it might be a 20-minute walk to clear your head. It might mean going to bed early. But be true to yourself. So here’s to you. And to real, deep, true love. The love you have for yourself. Because once you learn to love yourself fully, then that can overflow into one of those nauseously ooey-gooey romantic relationships. *Wink*

View the original article here