Herpes healing process: The 5 stages

[Note: To be clear, this article is about your process in healing in your mind and in your relationship to yourself. If you're looking for help with the physical part of dealing with herpes, check out these articles.]

When you first get genital herpes, a process begins. This process is known as the Kübler-Ross grief cycle and applies to anyone who has been impacted by a life-changing circumstance, everything from people dying of cancer to people like us dealing with the ramifications of an incurable STD. Also, please read The herpes self-acceptance process.

Onto the 5 stages of herpes healing …

Notice which stage of the process you are in right now. Don’t shame it or judge it, simply notice. The two vital pieces to this process: Awareness and self-acceptance.

1. Denial: a temporary defense for feeling
“I don’t really have herpes. The test was wrong.”
[after an initial herpes outbreak] “That was just razor burn.”

2. Anger: you recognize denial can’t continue
“Why was I such an idiot to have sex with that person?”
“I hate the person who gave this to me. They should pay for doing this to me.” (victim mentality)

3. Bargaining: hope that you can change what can’t be changed
“You know, a cure for herpes has to be right around the corner. Medicine is advancing in leaps and bounds.”
[talking to a higher power] “I promise if I don’t actually have herpes that I won’t have questionable sex with anyone ever again.”
Do you find yourself hoping to change what can’t be changed? Read this post on serenity

4. Depression: giving in, letting go of unrealistic hope that’s holding you back from what is, shedding old belief patterns
“What’s the point? Why bother? There’s no hope.”
This might translate to a feeling of being shut down, numbness, maybe crying, grieving, feeling loss.

5. Acceptance: come to terms with what herpes means in your life, and that who you are is more important than what you have
“Herpes is just something that I will deal with in my life. It’s actually not as bad as I ever imagined. I can move on and live my life. It’s going to be okay. I am okay.”

Notes:

These stages don’t have to occur in order.These stages can be skipped/revisited.These stages shouldn’t be forced.Simply notice where you are right now.

So, what stage are you in now? Notice that without shaming it or judging it. Don’t use the awareness of these stages to further shame or judge yourself. Just notice and allow yourself to be in the process of healing. Take care of yourself. That’s the vital part of this process: Awareness and self-acceptance.

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What To Expect In The Beginning Stages Of Herpes

The beginning stages of herpes are normally worse because there is no immunity from the virus HSV. Once experienced, the body begins to develop cells specifically as antibodies that help prevent further outbreaks of the virus. These antibodies don't kill the virus entirely but simply reduce the number of outbreaks and the severity. Often they return when you have lowered resistance or a compromised immune system.

The initial outbreak normally occurs within the first two weeks of exposure between two days and twelve after exposure to the virus. However, there are some accounts of the virus appearing years after the initial exposure. The period dramatically varies from individual to individual. Of course, that makes tracking the initial source a difficult task. Even if you have an outbreak, you might not have a severe one. The symptoms and severity vary also, depending on the health of your immune system.

A typical initial attack often leaves people feeling as though they've had a bout with influenza. They have achy muscles, a fever and often pain. Normally a sore begins at this time. The size of the sore varies and it may appear almost anywhere on the body. Several of the locations include the mouth, thighs, buttocks, genitals and around the anus.

If you're having an initial attack, you'll notice the skin in that area is slightly red and raised. It feels raw, itchy or painful and sometimes all three. When your body starts attacking the virus fluid starts to accumulates causing swelling.

Beside your local area swelling your lymph nodes in the area of original attack also swell. If your sore is in the genital area, then the lymph nodes in the groin swell. If your a women watch out for an attack in the cervix as that is where 80% to 90% of the attacks take place accompanied by a discharge. In certain cases you will not have any symptoms at all and only when you go for a physical will you discover the news.

Depending on how soon you react to the problem, the treatment and your body's resistance, a bout of genital herpes might last as long as three to four weeks. Most people find that once the symptoms reveal themselves, genital herpes runs its course within two to twelve days. Treatment normally shortens the time and those without treatment might expect the symptoms to continue the entire three to four weeks. Upon the first sign of symptoms, it's always best to contact a physician or health clinic. The newer tests available help the doctor accurately diagnose the problem if it's herpes or acknowledge it's not.

Once you experience your initial herpes outbreak things usually settle down for awhile. Herpes, however, is not cured; it's hibernating so to speak in an inactive mode. It also could be in the process known as viral shedding, a replicating stage. Even if your not showing any symptoms stay away from sexual encounters. You can still spread herpes at this time even though you don't have the same symptoms as you did in the beginning stages of herpes.

There is no cure for herpes, there are natural cures for herpes that will help you control the virus and help eliminate some of your outbreaks. In this case an once of prevention is worth a pound of cure because the only thing you can do with herpes is to learn to control the virus as much as you can with help.

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