Questions after contracting herpes

Guest author from our community: Katie S.

Contracting herpes often comes as a shock to people and leaves them in a state of confusion, fear, and shame. When I was first diagnosed my biggest questions were “How did this happen to me?” “How will this affect me?” and “Will I ever be able to live a normal life again?” Herpes was a scary realization at first, and I spent a lot of time worrying about the unknown. Now that almost a year has gone by, my life is nowhere near the horror story that I imagined it would be. In fact, my relationship to herpes has completely changed, and my life is more open, loving, and exciting than ever. I’d like to share some information I wish I knew when I was first diagnosed.

“How did this happen to me?”

There are different ways that someone can get herpes. According to the CDC, herpes can be spread through anal, vaginal, or oral sex. HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the herpes sores that the virus cause. HSV-1 is oral herpes, which can be transmitted by kissing when there is an open sore to the mouth. An open sore on the mouth can also spread the virus to the genitals during oral sex, causing the partner to breakout in “fever blisters.” HSV-2 is genital herpes, which is mainly spread through genital to genital contact when there is an open sore. The virus enters a new host through breaks in the skin. There is also a smaller possibility of spreading herpes when no signs of the virus are present. This is called viral shedding.

“How will this affect me?”

Herpes hasn’t affected my body nearly as bad as I thought it would. The first outbreak was the worst, leading me to believe that I was going to have flu like symptoms and extreme burning every time I got an outbreak. What I’ve come to find out is that none of my outbreaks have been anywhere near as bad. The first herpes outbreak is always the worst because your body hasn’t built up anti-bodies to the virus yet. The sores may take up 3 weeks to heal (without medication), and can cause burning, itching, fevers, chills, and swollen lymph nodes. According to WebMD, people who have symptoms average about 5 outbreaks during the first few years. 15-20% of people actually never have an outbreak again after their first. In my experience, I have had 3 visible outbreaks in my 1st year of having herpes. Each outbreak has been shorter and less painful than the previous, and they are nothing like the horror pictures that are shown in health class.

“Will I ever be able to live a normal life again?”

Yes! My life is totally the same. The only thing that’s changed is that I don’t have sex when I have an outbreak. I still work the same job. I still exercise. I still go out and enjoy time with friends. I eat. I sleep. I play with every dog in sight. I shamelessly eat chocolate in inappropriate amounts. Everything I did before my diagnosis; You name it, and I still do it.

As I shared before, contracting herpes hasn’t been the horror story that I thought it would be. I used to think that it would take away so much from me. What I’ve come to realize is that “I” am the only one who can take away anything from me. Herpes doesn’t have that right.

I am the author of my own life. Sometimes, I write with a pen and can’t go back. But what I can do, is keep writing and move forward.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” — Maria Robinson

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Woman gets $900,000 after man gives her STD

Washington, June 6 (IANS) A 49-year-old American woman has been awarded $900,000 by a court after a 69-year-old retiree had sex with her and then confessed to having the sexually transmitted disease (STD) herpes.

According to Daily Mail, a jury heard that in May 2010 the two met for their fourth date where, after an evening over wine and smoking marijuana, the couple had sex.

Later, the man told her he had STD.

The woman said she took anti-viral medication but it caused large chunks of her hair to fall out and made her weight go up by 30 pounds.

She filed a lawsuit under a pseudonym, and said she had asked the man to wear a condom and he agreed. However, she later noticed he was no longer wearing protection.

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Sex After STDs That Don't Go Away

Some STDs are worse than others. HIV is arguably the worst one of all to get. Others like gonorrhea and chlamydia are treatable and more or less go away. Then there's HPV (genital warts) and herpes types 1 and 2. Type one typically considered oral and type 2 being genital although people can have either in either place.

Many people who are out there playing the field or even just playing one on one need to be more informed if they want to remain free and minimize their risk of contracting an STD. Know the ins and outs of all these nasty things out there.

It's almost a cliche of a line that people in the dating scene use - I'm STD free and tested regularly. How often have you heard that one and wonder just how honest that really is. It's obvious based on the amount of people out there infected with something that we don't really know what that means. Did this person get tested for just HIV? Or did they also get tested for hepatitis C, HSV 1 and 2 (blood test), HPV, gonorrhea, chlam. etc...

For example, testing for herpes isn't usually done unless it is requested by you. Although men can be carriers of HPV, there currently isn't a test for men with HPV.

Let's say that you're reading this and thinking, yeah, this really doesn't help me now as I'm already infected with something that doesn't go away. Maybe you've just found out or maybe you've been living with it for a while. Some people take it hard and some don't let it define themselves.  The reality is, there's a whole ton of people out here playing around who have herpes and don't even know it because they never had a noticeable outbreak.  The official statistics believe the ratio is 1 out of 4 to 1 out of 5 adults have it.  Many believe the number is much higher simply because of lack of testing and lack of symptoms for many carriers.

When you decide that you would like to still have a healthy physical relationship that includes sex with another person, where can you go? Local support groups for STDs can be found through a search on the internet.

A great source of information on herpes can be found at http://www.herpes-coldsores.com

Where can you go - local support groups can be found through a search on the internet. There's even dating sites out there like  that can help people find others in similar situations that can offer hope and support and of course, romance and physical intimacy.

So living with an STD that doesn't go away doesn't have to become a life of celibacy. Get the facts and play safe.

Finally, a natural effective herpes treatment that actually works and won't break the bank.

Man jailed for 14 months after giving girlfriend herpes

A man has been jailed for 14 months after he knowingly gave his former girlfriend genital herpes.

   
David Golding, 28, was sentenced to the jail term at Northampton Crown Court last week after pleading guilty to inflicting grievous bodily harm. Mr Golding, a Highways Authority traffic officer, contracted the sexually transmitted disease from a former partner.

The 24-year-old victim was diagnosed with herpes two months after starting a relationship with Mr Golding in July 2009. Despite this Golding did not admit to having the condition, only eventually disclosing his culpability shortly before the couple split months after.
The victim complained to police about contracting the disease after Golding was arrested on an allegation of assaulting her. Golding had initially claimed to have been given the all-clear from a screening clinic.

Sentencing Golding, Judge Michael Fowler said his initial refusal to admit passing on herpes “placed uncertainty in her life and caused suspicions to be cast onto others”.

Judge Fowler added, “The injury you (Golding) caused her by this infection is at least or more serious than an injury leaving a scar because it carries continued recurrence, extreme discomfort and consequences for relationships she will have in the future”.

The incurable disease forms lesions on the genitals which can cause painful itching and burning.

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Man who gave his girlfriend herpes while they were going out is JAILED for 14 months after she went to police when ...

By Andy Dolan

Last updated at 7:26 AM on 17th August 2011

Denial: David Golding initially said he wasn't responsible for Cara Scott contracting Herpes

A traffic officer who knowingly gave his girlfriend herpes has been jailed for 14 months.

David Golding, 28, kept quiet about the sexually transmitted infection when he began a relationship with 24-year-old Cara Scott two years ago.

Within two months she was diagnosed with the incurable condition and confronted him.

But Golding, who worked for the Highways Agency, denied he was responsible.

He only admitted the truth shortly before the relationship ended early last year.

Golding’s sentence after pleading guilty to grievous bodily harm was yesterday attacked as ‘outrageous’ by sexual health charities, which said the ‘trivial’ condition was being wrongly stigmatised.

But Judge Michael Fowler said Golding’s initial refusal to admit passing on herpes ‘placed uncertainty in [Miss Scott’s] life and caused suspicions to be cast on to others’.

He added: ‘Because it was in a relationship, it was particularly mean and an offence which amounted to a betrayal – a betrayal in a relationship in which you professed love.

‘The injury you caused her by this infection is at least or more serious than an injury leaving a scar because it carries continued recurrence, extreme discomfort and consequences for relationships she will have in the future.’

Golding, from Braunston, Northamptonshire, caught the disease from a previous partner.

Trial: The unusual case was heard at Northampton Crown and County Court

Prosecutor Steven Evans told Northampton Crown Court that Miss Scott had become ill in September 2009.

He added: ‘Very quickly, she was diagnosed with genital herpes. It is a lifelong condition and it is incurable. On discovering this, she confronted the defendant but he denied he was responsible.

‘He told her he had been given the all-clear at the clinic when he had gone there for screening.

The couple parted in March 2010, when Miss Scott is said to have reported the infection to police.

Consequences: Judge Michael Fowler sentenced David Golding to 14 months at Northampton Crown Court

Golding’s parents, Janet, 64, and Christopher, 59, said they were shocked at the sentence.

Mrs Golding said: ‘This is David’s first offence and we are distraught at what might happen to him in jail. He’s a good son who did not deserve this.’

Her husband said that he found the sentence ‘difficult to understand’.

The virus which causes genital herpes could cause an outbreak or lie dormant for years, during which time it is not infectious. Many people remain unaware they are infected.

Those who do display symptoms usually suffer fever, headache and tiredness and small blisters and itching.

Nigel Scott, spokesman for the Herpes Viruses Association, said Golding’s sentence was ‘outrageous’ and compared the case to prosecuting children for ‘giving their friends chicken pox’.

He added: ‘It is such a trivial infection that most people don’t notice it. It has exactly the same medical implications and consequences as an ordinary facial cold sore.’

Marian Nicholson, director of the HVA, added: ‘Many of those who are diagnosed are reluctant to disclose their status but this is because of the unnecessary stigma, not because it is serious ... emphatically it is not.’

But a spokesman for the Crown Prosecution Service said the case was considered in line with its ‘intentional or reckless transmission of infection’ policy.

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Outrage After Man Jailed for Giving Partner Herpes

Published August 16, 2011

| NewsCore

NORTHAMPTON, England –  Sexual health experts Tuesday lashed out at a decision to jail a U.K. man for giving his partner genital herpes.

David Golding was given a 14-month prison sentence last week for not informing his girlfriend that he had the sexually transmitted infection, the Northampton Chronicle and Echo reported.

The 28-year-old, from Braunston, central England, had earlier pleaded guilty at Northampton Crown Court to inflicting grievous bodily harm.

The court heard Golding had denied having the infection when his then girlfriend, 24-year-old Cara Scott, was diagnosed with it soon after their relationship began in 2009. He only admitted it to her shortly before they broke up in 2010. Scott then went to the police.

According to the Daily Mail, Judge Michael Fowler said at sentencing, "'Because it was in a relationship, it was particularly mean and an offense which amounted to a betrayal -- a betrayal in a relationship in which you [Golding] professed love.

"The injury you caused her by this infection is at least or more serious than an injury leaving a scar because it carries continued recurrence, extreme discomfort and consequences for relationships she will have in the future."

However, Nigel Scott, of the Herpes Viruses Association, said, "This is outrageous. Will children also now be prosecuted for giving their friends chicken pox? For passing on a cold sore?"

Sexual health consultant Dr. Colm O'Mahony said, "Being sent to prison for passing on herpes simplex is like being sent down for 10 years for a parking offense. I'm appalled. There is no way of proving who gave herpes to whom and with so many of the population already unknowingly infected it is irrelevant to blame someone specific. It is a cold sore in an awkward place."

The virus which causes genital herpes can cause an outbreak or lie dormant for years, during which time it is not infectious. Many people remain unaware they are infected.

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Some Colorado counties lifting horse ban after equine herpes outbreak - Coloradoan

GRAND JUNCTION _ Some Colorado counties are lifting temporary horse bans at county facilities prompted by an outbreak of equine herpes virus.

The Mesa County Fairgrounds said Friday it will lift its horse ban next week. That will allow next weekend's horse events including team roping and barrel racing competitions to go on.

Mesa County imposed the ban May 18 in the wake of an outbreak throughout the West that apparently originated at a horse show in Ogden, Utah, in early May. Nine cases of the disease have been confirmed in Colorado, including some on private property in Mesa County.

The Boulder County Fairgrounds announced Friday it would reopen to horses. In southern Colorado, Fremont County lifted a temporary ban last week.

The virus is highly contagious among horses but harmless to humans.
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Information from: The Daily Sentinel, http://www.gjsentinel.com/

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How To Re-Enter The Dating Scene After You Had Genital Herpes

I found out I had genital herpes in January. My boyfriend got a blood test and he tested negative. Recently, we broke up . I'm sure I'm not ready to start dating again yet, but when I am I'm not sure how to go about it. I know I have to tell my partners and I will continue to be careful. Can I date those who don't have herpes? Will they be willing to date me?

Many people with herpes have similar experience at the beginning. The following information shows you how you can unlock your own natural confidence and strength so you feel really comfortable giving 'The Talk'. Now that you know you have genital herpes, you're out of the dating game, right? Absolutely not. There's no reason to stop looking for love and fun.

Genital herpes doesn't detract from your many desirable qualities, which have drawn people to you in the past and will continue to make you a great catch.

Broaching the Topic of Genital Herpes

The first date after your diagnosis may seem a little strange, however. If you hope to be sexually intimate with your date at some point, you may feel like you're keeping a nasty secret. If you are one to be candid with people, you'll want to blurt it out. Don't. There are some things you should reveal about yourself right away -- for example, that you're married, or that you're just in town for the week -- but some things are better left for the appropriate moment.

It's up to you to decide the right time to tell your date that you have genital herpes. Follow two rules: First, don't wait until after having sex. Second, don't wait until you're just about to have sex -- in which case the attraction may be too strong for either of you to think rationally and act responsibly.

If in the past you tended to start a new relationship with sex, you now might want to change your approach. It might be better to break the news about your herpes to someone who has already grown attached to you. Kissing, cuddling, and fondling are safe, so you don't have to tell before you do that. But use your best judgment as to how physically intimate you want to get before telling. One thing could lead to another, and you might find yourself in an awkward situation.

Dealing With Rejection Anyone who dates should be prepared for rejection. The person you're seeing may beat a hasty retreat when he or she finds out about your genital herpes. If you get the "I just want to be friends" talk after telling your sweetheart you have herpes, consider this: He or she may have already been looking for a way out, and herpes was as good an excuse as any. What's more, anyone who disdains you or humiliates you for having herpes was never worth your while.

Keep dating, and you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your herpes status. There are certainly some who wouldn't mind keeping the intimacy level just short of doing things that could transmit the virus. And of those people, it's likely that at least one will come around, and say, "Hey, I understand there's a risk, but I'm crazy about you, so I'm willing to take it."

Depending on your dating style, you might date people with herpes, if you want to avoid having to discuss it. Herpes doesn't define you, but judgmental people will make judgmental decisions.On the herpes dating sites, you do not worry about being rejected or discriminated, but often find understanding and comforting. Check reviews of the top Herpes Dating Sites, see which Online Dating Site is best for you.

David H Smith is a life coach. He has created Herpes Dating Help as a uniquely practical life coaching service, introducing you to those changes you can make that will help you to feel relaxed about herpes, maintain and grow your self confidence.

How To Re-Enter The Dating Scene After You Had Genital Herpes

I found out I had genital herpes in January. My boyfriend got a blood test and he tested negative. Recently, we broke up . I'm sure I'm not ready to start dating again yet, but when I am I'm not sure how to go about it. I know I have to tell my partners and I will continue to be careful. Can I date those who don't have herpes? Will they be willing to date me?

Many people with herpes have similar experience at the beginning. The following information shows you how you can unlock your own natural confidence and strength so you feel really comfortable giving 'The Talk'. Now that you know you have genital herpes, you're out of the dating game, right? Absolutely not. There's no reason to stop looking for love and fun.

Genital herpes doesn't detract from your many desirable qualities, which have drawn people to you in the past and will continue to make you a great catch.

Broaching the Topic of Genital Herpes

The first date after your diagnosis may seem a little strange, however. If you hope to be sexually intimate with your date at some point, you may feel like you're keeping a nasty secret. If you are one to be candid with people, you'll want to blurt it out. Don't. There are some things you should reveal about yourself right away -- for example, that you're married, or that you're just in town for the week -- but some things are better left for the appropriate moment.

It's up to you to decide the right time to tell your date that you have genital herpes. Follow two rules: First, don't wait until after having sex. Second, don't wait until you're just about to have sex -- in which case the attraction may be too strong for either of you to think rationally and act responsibly.

If in the past you tended to start a new relationship with sex, you now might want to change your approach. It might be better to break the news about your herpes to someone who has already grown attached to you. Kissing, cuddling, and fondling are safe, so you don't have to tell before you do that. But use your best judgment as to how physically intimate you want to get before telling. One thing could lead to another, and you might find yourself in an awkward situation.

Dealing With Rejection Anyone who dates should be prepared for rejection. The person you're seeing may beat a hasty retreat when he or she finds out about your genital herpes. If you get the "I just want to be friends" talk after telling your sweetheart you have herpes, consider this: He or she may have already been looking for a way out, and herpes was as good an excuse as any. What's more, anyone who disdains you or humiliates you for having herpes was never worth your while.

Keep dating, and you will find someone who wants to be with you regardless of your herpes status. There are certainly some who wouldn't mind keeping the intimacy level just short of doing things that could transmit the virus. And of those people, it's likely that at least one will come around, and say, "Hey, I understand there's a risk, but I'm crazy about you, so I'm willing to take it."

Depending on your dating style, you might date people with herpes, if you want to avoid having to discuss it. Herpes doesn't define you, but judgmental people will make judgmental decisions.On the herpes dating sites, you do not worry about being rejected or discriminated, but often find understanding and comforting. Check reviews of the top Herpes Dating Sites, see which Online Dating Site is best for you.

David H Smith is a life coach. He has created Herpes Dating Help as a uniquely practical life coaching service, introducing you to those changes you can make that will help you to feel relaxed about herpes, maintain and grow your self confidence.