If you have herpes, and you have been alone for a while, then you probably want to start dating. But now you may be wondering how dating will work when you have herpes. You may realize that dating for you now won't be the same as it was before you got herpes. You may be nervous or scared about it, and worried about rejection, or worried about giving your herpes to someone else. You may have heard of some legal cases which went to court regarding some celebrities, with their names in the media, which is something you are very concerned about. And finally, you may wonder how or if you will ever have sex when you find the right person. This article will address all of these issues, in a concise, easy to understand format.
The basis to all successful dating, herpes or not, is complete honesty. If you want a successful relationship, holding anything back will eventually contribute to the end of the relationship. And it doesn't have to be just about herpes. We can have many parts of our past we do not want widely known, and they can include family secrets, past promiscuity, illegal activities, drug use or other addictions, giving up a child for adoption when you were a teenager and lots more. And of course having herpes is another thing to disclose. This does not have to be done on your first date! If you want, you can hint at some of these parts of your past, but you do not have to blurt them all out on your first date. Instead, be yourself, and let the other person start to get to know you. If they like you, and there is a second date, you can slowly begin to reveal one or maybe two confidential parts of your past. You should be looking to see if the other person is doing the same. If they seem secretive, there is probably no point in going beyond a third date, and it would be inadvisable to have sex with them. Once sex is involved, our feelings get distorted, and part of us starts overlooking any negative signals that are given to us.
By the third date, there is a chance that the other person may tell you that they have herpes! There is about a twenty percent chance that they do. Keep that in mind, and then while in a romantic but not passionate situation, you can mention that you have herpes. You can tell them how long you have had it, and how often you have outbreaks, or if you never have outbreaks. You can give them some printed information on herpes to take with them when the date ends. If they are understanding, and they have told you something personal about their past, then you have a chance of developing a good relationship based on honesty. If they reject you, they are saying a lot about themselves, and you will have learned a lot about them without going too far. This is the time to move on to someone else. There is someone out there who is just right for you.
There have been some celebrity court cases regarding herpes and many other cases regarding herpes by non celebrities. The cases usually involve the fact that one party did not tell the other party that they had herpes, and passed the infection on to them. In other words, honesty was lacking before they had sex. Court cases, adverse publicity, and possible monetary loss can be avoided by being honest at the beginning.
It is possible to have a good sex life with herpes. The key is to learn about herpes, and know how it affects you personally. People are different in this regard, and the more you know, the better. Knowing about herpes, and knowing yourself, will enable you to have regular sex. It is possible to learn how to reduce the frequency, or minimize the severity, or even stop outbreaks altogether, if you know how. How to do this can include diet, herbal supplements, exercise and stress reduction, which are beyond the scope of this article.
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