There are about 60 million people in the US living with herpes. Being infected can be difficult and especially trying in intimate situations. Having the herpes virus does not mean you should stay away from the dating scene though, many infected people are in perfectly healthy relationships.
Living with herpes is hard and dating with herpes may seem downright impossible, but can be done when you have an understanding partner. Telling your partner about your infection may not be the easiest thing to do, but will help protect them from contracting the virus. Being open and honest not only protects your partner, but can help build a stronger relationship. The best relationships are built with a strong foundation based on trust and honesty. An important step is discussing the frequency of outbreaks to get an idea of when they may occur. Thankfully, most people only have a few during the course of a year. Alert your partner if you begin to feel an outbreak coming so they can avoid the infected area.
When dating with herpes, you will need to work around these outbreaks. Intimacy between them is possible when the proper precautions are taken. It is advised to abstain from any kind of sexual contact during an outbreak when the transmission rate is the highest. Using condoms is the best form of protection against the herpes virus, but is not 100% guaranteed. Many couples in long-term relationships who understand the outbreak cycle do not use condoms because the virus is not a serious health risk. Using lubricant is advised because it reduces friction and the possibility of viral shedding. Viral shedding occurs when skin is sloughed off, and can happen even when symptoms aren't present. A lubricant containing nonoxynol is a good choice to reduce shedding because it has been found to have antiviral properties. If you or your partner are apprehensive or nervous about sex, you may want to abstain for a while. You can also be intimate without penetration until the time feels right.
Dating with herpes can be just as rewarding as dating without the virus; you just need to approach it with extra care. Living with herpes shouldn't stop you from having relationships or finding that special someone. Always be honest with your partner and do what you can to protect them. Your care and concern for their well-being can have positive effects on the relationship and may reward both of you in the long run.
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