If you've just been diagnosed with hsv2, dating may seem like a frightening and humiliating prospect. This is normal, but be assured that it's not as scary as it seems.
First, it's important to note that roughly 25% of the adult population in North America has contracted hsv2. Not only that, but 70% or so of people who have contracted it have not been diagnosed and are not aware!
What does this mean? It means that 1 in 4 potential mates will have it, but most will not know it, so if you are rejected on the basis of your herpes diagnosis it could very well be from someone who is in the exact same boat. The difference is that at least you have bothered to get tested, and have the integrity to be honest about it to a potential partner.
HSV2 Dating in the 'Offline World'
With that little rant out of the way, I want to talk about the best way to approach a date when you have hsv2. Primarily you need to:
o Maintain your self confidence
o Be knowledgeable about the risks and how to minimize them
If you meet someone that you really connect with, don't assume that they will reject you because of hsv2, and be ready to debunk any myths that they may believe. Balance this with honesty, too. Let them know:
o There are medications on the market that significantly reduce the chances of transmission. One of them, Valtrex, has proven in a 2002 study to reduce the chances of shedding the virus by 45-50%.
o Good quality latex condoms are also effective in reducing the risks. Kimono, Trojan and Durex condoms are all reliable as long as they are not old, exposed to heat or excessive sun, or have been torn with the fingernails or teeth.
o There can be no sexual contact during outbreaks, but outbreaks are not a weekly (or usually even monthly) occurrence.
o There is no 100% guarantee against transmission with anything, so if the risk factor is still too high, that's understandable.
HSV2 Dating in the 'Online World'
One great thing about modern technology is that it allows us to connect with others discreetly, without leaving our homes, and through specific channels. The trend in hsv2-related dating sites has provided a very viable option for those unwilling to face rejection, but equally unwilling to accept eternal loneliness.
Many people who venture into the offline dating pool with the integrity to disclose their condition complain that their condition becomes an obsession for both themselves and potential mates that they disclose to. This is valid, and is solved with hsv2-specific dating sites; your hsv2 status is disclosed in your profile, so you can get on to the business of relaxing and discussing more interesting things with prospective mates.
Although I would admit that most hsv2-related dating sites are not of very good quality, there is one that is very good, because it is popular and its members are more active than usual. This site is Positive Singles Online, which has a very good reputation, huge database of members, and a forum you can use even with a free membership. Positive Singles Online also allows you to create a free profile so you can check it out before committing to upgrading your membership.
I hope this has been helpful; don't lose the faith.
