There's no way to describe the feeling of utter loneliness and devastation when the doctor tells you that you have an incurable sexually transmitted disease.
Knowing that you'll be living with herpes for the rest of your life is something you just can't face. You feel dirty and ashamed and you'd like to get your hands on the person who gave you this horrible virus...
Early reactions like this are fully understandable, however, you must understand that these feelings won't last forever. Once the initial shock wears off, you have no choice but to pull yourself together and face life head on.
Don't jump to conclusions
Did your partner deliberately infect you? Probably not. If s/he did, then you're fully entitled to your feelings, but...
More than likely s/he was asymptomatic and had never developed telltale herpes lesions. It stands to reason; if s/he was unaware of being herpes positive, then s/he cannot be blamed for transmitting the virus.
Besides, when you decided to have sex, you knew that making love with a new partner carried certain risks, so there's no point in feeling angry or harboring resentment.
Face up to it. You have the virus; therefore you must somehow pick up the pieces and learn the ins and outs of living with herpes without shame or feelings of inferiority.
What if you Caught it From Your Spouse?
The worse mistake you could make is to immediately assume that your partner has been unfaithful.
Laboratory tests prove that the virus can lie dormant in the nervous system for years and even decades before erupting for the first time.
What if you were the one who was infected without knowing it?
Besides, even if you did catch it from your spouse, s/he could have contracted the virus long before you met and fell in love.
You are not Alone
Herpes statistics tell us there are at least 45 million Americans out there who have genital herpes. They laugh and cry, they fall in love, they marry and raise families, and they live normal lives.
You can do the same!
Think about this one ... it's an undeniable fact that some of your close friends and family have the disease, not to mention a few of your acquaintances, colleagues or classmates.
On top of that, one out of five people out there, including pop stars, celebrities, beauty queens and politicians are living with herpes right now.
You're not alone and no one's to blame. You're just darn unlucky that you were one of the few who went on to display those horrible symptoms.
There is no Stigma Attached to Living with Herpes
According to the Center for Disease Control, 90% of the people in the United States have herpes of one kind or another.
When all is said and done, herpes is nothing more than a very common skin disorder, and nothing to be ashamed of.
As far as your mental health and self-image are concerned, it's absolutely essential that you understand and accept this emotionally and not just intellectually.
Speak to a Trusted Confidant and join a Herpes Support Group
Your first priority is to unburden yourself.
Speak with someone you can trust as soon as possible. Rant and rave all you want and have a good cry if you must, but get it out of your system... and then ask him or her for a hug.
After that, you will start to make some wonderful friends when you join one of the herpes support groups.
There's an abundance of fellowships ready to welcome you with open arms. What's more, People in the same boat are more than willing to help a fellow sufferer. They will teach you all about effective herpes medications, diet, natural cures for herpes and many, many other ways to cope on a day-to-day basis.
And of course, there are plenty of herpes dating sites out there.
No matter how dark the future looks right now, you will rejoin the mainstream of life and learn how to live with herpes from one day to the next. Before you know it, you will have shed all your feelings of guilt and shame and learned how to hold your head up high.
Does Having herpes make you less Attractive?
Heck no!
So you happen to develop cold sores now and then or occasionally get pimples or blisters down there. So what? Nobody needs to know unless you choose to tell them.
You're still the same person you've always been and you still have the same attractive qualities you've always had. You may have a cute smile, a wonderful sense of humor or dozens of likable traits that you are unaware of. All those qualities that made people like you before you started living with herpes still exist... and they always will.
Can you Still Find Romance?
Absolutely!
As I mentioned, there are some excellent specialized herpes dating services out there. However, if you happen to meet a herpes free person that you share mutual romantic feelings with, don't jump the gun by rushing into the sexual aspect of your relationship, and for goodness sake, don't blurt out your status too soon.
Be conservative. By the time the correct moment arrives, you will have done your homework and know the best way to explain all the ins and outs of living with herpes to your partner, including all the low-risk ways of having an exciting and fulfilling sex life.
By using the right words and a tactful approach, you'll be surprised how easy it can be for your partner to accept you the way you are and to adjust.
And if they are unwilling to do so, smile and move on... They've just saved you a lot of heartache because they weren't right for you in the first place.
Ian R Kelly draws his ideas both from research and from life's experiences. He has traveled extensively and gained valuable insights through working his way around the world.
The subject of Natural Home Remedies fascinates him. Because of this, he gets a huge kick out of doing in-depth research, and then writing about his findings.
He is a prolific writer and webmaster, currently in the process of designing and developing his own information website:
http://www.home-remedy-site.com/
He also builds historic man-o-war tall ship models for fun and profit. You can view his latest project at:
http://modelshipbuilder.blogspot.com/
