Finding Love Even When You're Stricken With an STD

A sexually transmitted disease or STD can break your life in a single snap. Going on knowing that you're stricken with an STD is really difficult especially when the people around you know about it. Aside from the humiliation and public dismay, you yourself will face tremendous self esteem issues that will wreak you to the bone. It is something you'd have to deal with for a long time until you can finally accept who you are and what you have become.

Having an STD is not the end of the world. There are other people who have fallen victims to this ailment, you are not alone and yes, there is hope in finding love even when you have an STD. The answer to this woe is true love found online. Why online? Because finding love through the usual means of finding dates is impossible since most people have frowned upon STD singles.

Honesty and trust has always been the foundation of a strong and long lasting relationship and you can find this through online dating websites geared towards singles with sexually transmitted diseases. By being upfront and honest with your ailment from the moment you join, you can expect other single members like you to respond positively with respect to your honesty.

Don't worry. Joining this kind of online communities doesn't expose you to outside threats and scrutiny because your identity is concealed with the sites' security measures to protect their members. All the things and information you share with the other members is completely up to you. You can choose to reveal your personal information and identity to the single members who you have been in contact with for quite some time.

Accepting what you are capable and not capable of doing is the beginning point of recovery to oneself. Any self consciousness and self esteem issues will begin to fade once you are around people who can fully and truly understand your situation. Aside from communicating with your possible matches, you can also join some discussions done in the forums of the website which totally creates an at-home feeling of acceptance from other members.

You can share what your experiences are like living with the STD you have been stricken with. This sharing of opinion between singles allow the community and each member to enrich their knowledge on how to deal and combat with the ailment. Aside from finding love, think about these communities as your outlet to be your self and as a sharing group you can interact with.

You can learn more about other members who are into Herpes dating and if you yourself have this kind of ailment, finding a date and a possible lifetime mate is no longer an impossible feat for you. Believe it or not, there are a lot of people who are stricken with STD who are living a wonderful life as of this moment because they have found their true soul mate and love.

Perhaps it's about time that you find your very own life partner who can truly understand and know what you feel. An HIV dating service may help you find a suitable match online. Not only will you fulfill your lifelong dream of being with someone who can accept you for who you are but you will also find a mate who you can play with for life.

As you can see STD is not the end of life. It's only the beginning of a different life ahead of you, a life that is filled with wonders and mystery. With all these in hand, you can also help other STD singles who are suffering with self acceptance issues. Giving them a lending hand is one way you can help them survive and battle with their ailments.

Sex After STDs That Don't Go Away

Some STDs are worse than others. HIV is arguably the worst one of all to get. Others like gonorrhea and chlamydia are treatable and more or less go away. Then there's HPV (genital warts) and herpes types 1 and 2. Type one typically considered oral and type 2 being genital although people can have either in either place.

Many people who are out there playing the field or even just playing one on one need to be more informed if they want to remain free and minimize their risk of contracting an STD. Know the ins and outs of all these nasty things out there.

It's almost a cliche of a line that people in the dating scene use - I'm STD free and tested regularly. How often have you heard that one and wonder just how honest that really is. It's obvious based on the amount of people out there infected with something that we don't really know what that means. Did this person get tested for just HIV? Or did they also get tested for hepatitis C, HSV 1 and 2 (blood test), HPV, gonorrhea, chlam. etc...

For example, testing for herpes isn't usually done unless it is requested by you. Although men can be carriers of HPV, there currently isn't a test for men with HPV.

Let's say that you're reading this and thinking, yeah, this really doesn't help me now as I'm already infected with something that doesn't go away. Maybe you've just found out or maybe you've been living with it for a while. Some people take it hard and some don't let it define themselves.  The reality is, there's a whole ton of people out here playing around who have herpes and don't even know it because they never had a noticeable outbreak.  The official statistics believe the ratio is 1 out of 4 to 1 out of 5 adults have it.  Many believe the number is much higher simply because of lack of testing and lack of symptoms for many carriers.

When you decide that you would like to still have a healthy physical relationship that includes sex with another person, where can you go? Local support groups for STDs can be found through a search on the internet.

A great source of information on herpes can be found at http://www.herpes-coldsores.com

Where can you go - local support groups can be found through a search on the internet. There's even dating sites out there like  that can help people find others in similar situations that can offer hope and support and of course, romance and physical intimacy.

So living with an STD that doesn't go away doesn't have to become a life of celibacy. Get the facts and play safe.

Finally, a natural effective herpes treatment that actually works and won't break the bank.

Safer Sex Menu

Safer sex can be fun and you won't have to worry as much. The best advice is to use safer sex supplies until you and your lover are in a monogamous relationship.

- Saucy phone-sex or sex talk

- A luscious body massage

- Naughty videos & audios

- Scrumptious body licking

- A spicy striptease

- Savory kissing

- Mouth watering mutual masturbation

- Tasty cleavage fornication

- Juicy oral delights with a condom or rubber dam

- Steamy sex with vibrators and other adult toys (Not shared)

- Delicious penetration with an FDA approved condom

- Sugary caresses

- Syrupy love bites served gently

- Sweet body pressing

- Warm blows of breath

- Creamy cuddles

Condom Talk

If your lover gives you a hard time about wearing a condom, here are some good responses and excellent reasons why you need to use one.

Him: I don't think condoms are romantic.

Her: Just let me show you how romantic condoms can be.

Him: You don't trust me, do you?

Her: It's not a matter of trust; it's a matter of health.

Him: I don't like to use condoms.

Her: I don't have sex without them.

Him: I haven't had sex with anyone in years so I know I'm clean.

Her: Thanks for being so honest, but let's use one anyway.

Him: I can't feel anything when I wear a condom.

Her: Let me provide you with some extra stimulation.

Him: I know I'll lose my erection by the time I get it on.

Her: Here, let me put it on for you with my mouth.

Him: I'm only going to use a condom this once.

Her: Once is all it takes.

Him: Sorry, I don't have one.

Her: That's ok. I do.

Him: How come you have condoms on you? Did you plan to have sex with me?

Her: I made sure I had some because I really care about you.

Him: Forget it. I'm not going to use a condom.

Her: Fine. Then let's not have sex until we can work out our differences.

Dr. Ava Cadell's Sexual Consent Form

Who needs it and why use it?

Superstar athletes, actors, rock stars, politicians, even entrepreneurs have groupies that will do just about anything to have sex with them, but can they be trusted? Will they lie about the act being consensual? Could they threaten to sue or worse still, make an accusation about sexual assault? You bet they can! So how can these people who are regularly out of town and away from home, which can lead to loneliness and result in temptation, protect themselves? Condoms can protect from the Std's and unwanted pregnancy. Another form of protection is to have a signed sexual consent form before having any sex as I described on TV's Celebrity Justice, CNN , ABC , Fox News and Good Morning America

If you think that a sexual consent form is only for the rich and famous, think again. Even if you have no assets, you need to protect yourself from false accusations because you can lose everything including your personal property, freedom and reputation. There are many other benefits to signing a sexual consent form, including the fact that you literally open up a form of intimate communication prior to rushing into sex. And, ladies the sexual consent form can protect you from being taken advantage of sexually because there is an -out clause- that stipulates that if you say the words -Code Red,- your partner must stop immediately. I chose this phrase because the words -No- and -Stop- have been used all too frivolously in our society and unfortunately, they are not always taken seriously. By using the sexual consent form with an FDA approved condom, you could protect yourself legally and sexually.

Benefits of a Sexual Consent Form

- I created it so that there will be no confusion or miscommunication as far as sexual consent is concerned.

- It protects men from conniving women who may bring false charges of sexual misconduct for financial gain.

- Even men who have no assets need to protect themselves from false accusations because they can lose everything that is dearest to them. Property, freedom and their reputation.

- This form is actually a way for the man to ask for permission to have sex with the woman.

- Women should NOT sign it if they do not trust the man are not ready for intimacy.

- It can be a form of foreplay before you get to the bedroom since you get to talk about sex before rushing into it. Great communication.

- The woman can select which sexual activities she wants to indulge in.

- -No- & -Stop- has been used frivolously, playfully and teasingly & is not taken seriously anymore. The phrase Code Red will not be mistaken for anything other than -high alert- hands off, you've gone too far. A similar 'Out Clause' is used in consensual bondage.

- Code Red is an alert that means stop because I am having physical or emotional problems. He must stop instantly.

- Any contract is contestable, even a prenuptial or Will. But if I were accused, I would rather go to court with it than without it. It would be admissible and relevant as evidence of consent if signed by the alleged victim.

- It's a great way to keep tabs on how many sex partners you've had.

- This is not a rape tool. On the contrary, I believe that it will prevent rape. A rapist is less likely to use a sexual consent form.

- As for the argument that a woman can be forced into signing it, I contend that a handwriting expert could probably identify a forced signature.

- There is never a guarantee that someone will NOT take advantage of you sexually, emotionally or physically. The best line of defence is always to be cautious and listen to your gut instincts. Never do anything that you do not want to do!

Is Oral Sex really Sex?

It is ridiculous to view oral sex as -not sex.- It's just as intimate as sexual intercourse, so why would you engage in oral sex with someone you wouldn't want to have intercourse with? Well, I'll tell you why. It all started in 1998 when then President Bill Clinton stated publicly, -I did not have sexual relations with that woman- even though he had repeatedly received oral sex from his intern, Monica Lewinsky. Now there is the growing problem of defining what sex really is. In the minds of many teenagers, oral sex isn't really sex. They seem to think they can stay virgins by engaging in oral sex because their hymen isn't broken. That's like saying, you can have anal sex and remain a virgin. Technically, it's true, but theoretically and emotionally it's not. Some guys also think they aren't cheating when they have oral sex with another woman because they can't get her pregnant. Giving and receiving oral sex is one of the most intimate and erotic acts that can be exchanged within a loving adult relationship and yes, it is sex!

Oral sex isn't a safe sex activity

Although oral sex is safer than vaginal and anal sex, it is still possible to contract Std's. The bottom line is that oral sex should be avoided if the giver has any sores or bleeding gums in the mouth. Even if he or she has just brushed or flossed their teeth, it can cause microscopic scratches in the lining of the mouth that makes one vulnerable to infection. Because of this, doctors advise the use of condoms for fellatio (flavored condoms are best) and the use of female condoms, dental dams or kitchen plastic wrap) for cunnilingus.

Better to be safe than sorry

Many people are unclear on the risks associated with oral sex. Unprotected oral sex carries a lesser risk for the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (Std's) than unprotected intercourse or anal penetration, but there's still a risk for both the giver and the receiver of oral sex. First let's look at how to avoid these contagious Std's by practicing safer sex.

Safer Sex Supplies

If you love yourself, you must protect yourself. Ladies, there's no reason why you can't enjoy the eroticism of oral sex and practice safer sex at the same time. Even if you're in a monogamous relationship, you'll want to have some of the safer sex supplies around to help you add more pleasure, persity and spontaneity to your oral sex adventures.

Female Condoms

Reality Condoms are the most well known, but they recently changed their name to FC Female Condoms. Femidom is another brand of female condoms. Most female condoms work the same way. They're made of polyurethane (stronger than latex), are hypo-allergenic, heat conductive, and odorless. They are a soft, loose-fitting sheath specifically designed to protect women from pregnancy and Std's by lining the inside of her vagina. Read the instructions before inserting it because if you don't insert it correctly, it's like not using protection at all. The female condom has to go deep inside the vagina and over the cervix.

Dental Dams

Aptly named because they are used by dentists to isolate a tooth. Dental dams come in various sizes and flavors. Made of ultra think latex, these square shaped barriers allow good sensations for oral sex. Sheer Glyde Dams are FDA approved for protection against Std's for cunnilingus and rimming. The best way to use a dam is for the giver to mark the -mouth- side of the dam with a marker so that they knows which side to lick, then apply a couple of drops of lubricant on the other side, press the dam against her vulva with two hands and enjoy.

Latex Gloves and Finger Cots

Good oral sex involves the hands as well as the mouth. There's nothing more exciting than orally pleasing a woman's clitoris and fingering her vagina or anus simultaneously. By using latex gloves and or finger cots (think of them as mini condoms for your fingers) you can increase erotic sensations and protect the receiver from jagged fingernails, cuts, germs or viral Std's such as herpes, which can be spread by skin-to-skin contact.

Lubricants

We all know, -wetter is better.- But, which lube is best? It can be very confusing because there are so many to choose from including, odorless, tasteless, water soluble lubricants with a lightconsistency and without Nonoxynol-9 spermicide. Here are some favorites: Wet Light, Astroglide, ForePlay Personal Gel, Aqua Lube, Sensua Organics and Probe Silky Light.

What Stds can I get from Oral Sex?

The following list of Std's is the most contagious and common when it comes to performing and receiving oral sex on a person. While no one knows exactly what the degree of risk is, to ensure safeties make sure that no cuts or lesions are present in the mouth or on the genitals. Protect yourself and your partner by using a barrier to avoid the contact of bodily fluids that may result in catching a sexually transmitted disease.

Herpes is a virus that causes sporadic flare-ups of painful blisters, usually around the mouth and or genitals. Herpes can hop from mouth to mouth and from mouth to genitals through the mucous membranes and skin. It can be spread by hand to vagina or hand to anus contact. Since Herpes is such a common virus, you can get a prescription drug called Valtrex.

Genital Warts are similar to Herpes in that they are a virus that remains in your system for life. They are spread in the same way through skin to skin and mucous membrane contact. The warts have to be removed surgically by laser and the bad news is that they may reoccur anyway.

Gonorrhea is a serious bacterial Std that can be spread through unprotected oral-vaginal contact. Symptoms may not show, but vaginal burning, discharge and pelvic pain are common warning signs. The good news is that antibiotics do work, but they must be taken for weeks.

Syphilis is a severe bacterial Std that can also be spread through unprotected oral-vaginal contact, especially if there is a sore present on the mouth or her vagina. Syphilis can be deadly if it isn't cured in the first couple of stages. The first visible sign and stage is the sore at the entrance of the vagina; the second sign is a body rash. Fortunately, Penicillin can cure Syphilis in these early stages. However, the third stage attacks the nervous system and debilitates the heart. Medications have limited success if left untreated.

Crabs and pubic lice are tiny creatures that gravitate towards the pubic hair where they live. They can be spread from one infested person to another. Symptoms include itching, swollen lymph glands and a mild fever.

Hepatitis A is a dangerous virus that can be transmitted by rimming or analingus (licking or penetrating the anal opening with your tongue). Other rimming risks include anal herpes, anal warts, internal parasites and even HIV. Hepatitis A can be prevented by getting a hepatitis A shot. In some cases hepatitis infection can cause muscle ache, fever, loss of appetite, headaches or dizziness.

Hepatitis B can be a life-threatening virus transmitted from sexual contact or contaminated needles. It's found in blood and other body fluids, such as semen, vaginal secretions and the breast of a lactating woman. It's possible to contract Hepatitis B when performing unprotected oral sex, especially when fluids from a carrier enter your body through a cut or sore in your mouth. Symptoms of Hepatitis B are fever, abdominal pain, jaundice and in some cases liver disease. There is no known cure, but it can be prevented with a vaccine.

Hepatitis C is the most deadly of all the hepatitis diseases. It is transmitted exclusively through direct blood contact so the receiver of oral sex must be menstruating, and the person going down on her must have a cut or sore on his mouth. There is no known cure or vaccine for hepatitis C at this time. Symptoms include the same as for A and B, plus dark urine, light stool colors, yellow eyes or skin and tenderness of the liver area.

HIV/AIDS can be fatal when the blood, semen, vaginal secretions or breast milk of an infected person enters another person's bloodstream through a cut, sore or blood vessel. If you perform oral sex on a menstruating partner, you could be at risk. Even if you have recently flossed or brushed your teeth, it's possible that you cut your gums and you could be at risk. HIV doesn't have any immediate warning signs so it's possible to have the virus for years and transmit it to others. The first symptoms of AIDS are weight loss, night sweats, pneumonia and other illnesses related to a low immune system. There is no known cure or vaccine for AIDS, but combinations of medications can slow the virus down.

How to properly put on a male condom

Prepare: Always check your condom for an expiration date, throw it out if it is expired. Also, make sure to store condoms in a cool place, such as a desk drawer, never store a condom in your wallet, hot environments (such as in your car) or if it has been washed or dried by accident. Don't hesitate to get a new condom if you have any doubts.

The penis must be erect in order to put on the condom. Do not attempt to put a condom on if the penis is limp.

Opening: Be careful when opening the package, condoms can rip very easily. Feel free to use your teeth, in a sexy manner, but be careful.

If the man's penis is not circumcised, be sure to pull the foreskin back first.

The condom should be right side out. Make sure to unroll the condom slightly at first in order to check which direction it is unrolling in. Slip it over the head of the penis; moving downward (it should unroll easy). (Hint: try putting the condom on with your mouth, watch your teeth.)

It is important that you hold the top half inch of the condom between your thumb and forefinger when you roll it down. This will leave space for when your man ejaculates.

Roll down the condom as far as it will allow, it should reach the base of the penis.

In the case of anal intercourse (remember: always use a condom during anal intercourse, even if you cannot get pregnant) use a lot of lubricant, the anal region is not naturally lubricated and can tear more easily than the vagina. For intercourse, a water-based lubricant is best. Always apply lubricant after the condom has been put on, a condom could easily slip off of a lubricated penis. Apply lubricant as often as needed, dry condoms break more easily.

For Men: make sure that when you pull out, you continue to hold the condom in place at the base of the penis. If possible, pull out while your penis is still erect. It is imperative that you remove the condom only after you are completely out of your partner's vagina.

Once you have safely removed the condom, throw it away immediately, a condom can be used once, and only once. In the case of anal intercourse, make sure you use an entirely new condom, never switch from vaginal to anal intercourse with the same condom. A man should never ejaculate in the same condom twice, and should also never wear a condom that somebody else has already used.

Also, remember never to use more than one condom at a time. -Doubling Up- only increases the chances of the condom breaking.

Using a female condom

How to properly put on a female condom:

The female condom is a sleeve of polyurethane with a closed end and a larger open end. There is a flexible ring in each end.

Have a condom fashion show

We all need to know about safer sex practices. And, safer sex can be very sexy and fun. For those of you using condoms, experiment with different kinds of condoms and practice putting them on manually and orally.

Condoms:

There are many kinds of condoms including flavored, polyurethane, extra-large, snug fitting, extra-sensitive, and condoms with nubs and stimulators. Here are some examples for you to choose from and experiment with:

Latex: Mentor, Ramses, Durex, Global Protection, Sheik, Pleaser, Kimono, Lifestyles, Crown, Magnum, trojan, Contempo, Paradise

Natural: Fourex, Natural Lamb, Skin Kling

Polyurethane: Avanti, Reality for women (female condom)

New Condoms:

Pleasure Plus Bulbus Head (Gives room inside the condom for the head of the penis to have more friction.)

Custom fit condoms by condomania.com.

You can also experiment with dental dams, latex gloves or finger cots.

Safer Sex Activities

- Cuddling and caressing

- Dry kissing

- Undressing

- Phone sex

- Watching or reading erotica

- Cleavage fornication

- Massage

- Mutual Masturbation

- Manual stimulation

- Oral sex with an FDA approved condom or rubber dam

- Sex toys unshared

- Intercourse with a condom and spermicide

Unsafe Sex

- French kissing in the presence of open sores or cuts

- Manual stimulation in the presence of open sores or cuts

- Oral sex without a barrier

- Sharing unclean sex toys

- Sucking the breasts of a lactating woman

- Vaginal or anal intercourse without an FDA approved condom

- Penetration of anything from the anus to the vagina

- Never blow or force air into the vagina because it can cause an embolism that could be fatal, especially if the woman is pregnant.

Birth Control Methods

NuvaRing-99.7%; $30-$35/ monthly. Protects against pregnancy for one month, no pill to take daily, does not require a -fitting- by a clinician, does not require the use of spermicide, nothing to put in place before intercourse. Possible: more regular, shorter periods, less: menstrual flow and cramping, acne, iron deficiency anemia, excess body hair, headaches, depression and vaginal dryness and painful intercourse associated with menopause, reduces the risk of ovarian and endometrial cancers, pelvic inflammatory disease, noncancerous growths of the breasts, ovarian cysts, and osteoporosis (thinning of the bones), fewer occurrences of ectopic pregnancy (in a fallopian tube), ability to become pregnant returns quickly when use is stopped. Increased vaginal discharge, vaginal irritation or infection, cannot use a diaphragm, cap, or shield for a backup method of birth control, rare but serious health risks, including blood clots, heart attack, and stroke (women who are 35 and older and smoke are at a greater risk), change in sex drive and temporary irregular bleeding, weight gain or loss, breast tenderness, nausea (rarely, vomiting, changes in mood, and other discomforts)

Patch- 99.7%;$30-$40/month supply of patches. Protects against pregnancy for one month, no pill to take daily, nothing to put in place before intercourse, Possible: more regular, shorter periods, less: menstrual flow and cramping, acne, iron deficiency anemia, excess body hair, premenstrual symptoms (such as related headaches and depression) and vaginal dryness and painful intercourse associated with menopause, reduces the risk of ovarian and endometrial cancers, pelvic inflammatory disease, noncancerous growths of the breasts, ovarian cysts, and osteoporosis (loss of bone mass), fewer occurrences of ectopic pregnancy (in not in the uterus), ability to become pregnant returns quickly when use is stopped Skin reaction at the site of application, menstrual cramps, may not be as effective for women who weigh more than 198 pounds, rare but serious health risks, including blood clots, heart attack, and stroke (women who are 35 and older and smoke are at a greater risk), other side effects include change in sex drive and temporary irregular bleeding, weight gain or loss, breast tenderness, nausea (rarely, vomiting, changes in mood, and other discomforts).

POPs (Progestin-only Birth Control Pills)- 92-99.7%; $20-$35/ monthly. Can be used by women who cannot take estrogen, nothing has to be put in place before vaginal intercourse, can be used while breastfeeding, ability to become pregnant returns quickly when use is stopped, irregular bleeding patterns, headache, nausea, dizziness, sore breasts, must be taken at the same time of day each day to reduce the risk of pregnancy and irregular bleeding

IUD- 99.2-99.9%; $175-$500/ exam, insertion, and follow-up visit. Nothing to put in place before intercourse, ParaGard® (copper IUD) may be left in place for up to 12 years, Mirena® (hormone IUD) for five years, no pill to take daily, Mirena® may reduce menstrual cramps, ability to become pregnant returns quickly when IUD is removed Increase in cramps and heavier and longer periods (copper IUDs), spotting between periods, increased chance of tubal infection leading to infertility if inserted when a woman has a STI, rarely, wall of uterus is punctured during insertion, rarely, insertion can cause infection, pregnancies, which rarely occur, are more likely to be ectopic (not in uterus)

Depo-Provera- 97-99.7%. $20-$40/visits to clinician. $30-$75/ injection. Can be used by women who cannot take estrogen, nothing has to be put in place before vaginal intercourse, can be used while breastfeeding, effective for 12 weeks, no pill to take daily, helps prevent cancer of the lining of the uterusirregular bleeding, headache, nausea, dizziness, sore breasts, must receive injection every three months, loss of monthly period, change of appetite, weight gain, depression, hair loss, or increased hair on the face or body, nervousness, skin rash or spotty darkening of the skin, change in sex drive, side effects not reversed until medication wears off (up to 12 weeks), causes temporary bone thinning, may cause delay in getting pregnant after shots are stopped, pregnancies, which rarely occur, are more likely to be ectopic (not in the uterus)

Abstinence-100%; Free. No medical or hormonal side effects of any kind. Many people find it difficult to abstain from sex play for long periods of time

Withdrawal- 73-96% (nearly 100% w/condom); Free (or cost of condoms). Can be used when no other method is available. Not effective against Stds, requires great self-control, experience

Sterilization- 99.5-99.9%; $2,000-$6,000/ Tubal sterilization; $350-$1,000/ vasectomy. Permanent protection against pregnancy, no lasting side effects, no effects on sexual pleasure. Risks of minor surgery, regret, usually not reversible, rarely, tubes reopen, allowing pregnancy to occur

The Pill- 92-99.7% $20-$35/monthly. Nothing to put in place before intercourse, more regular, shorter periods, less: menstrual flow, cramping, acne, iron deficiency anemia, excess body hair, headaches, depression and vaginal dryness, and painful intercourse associated with menopause. Reduces the risk of ovarian and endometrial cancers, pelvic inflammatory disease, noncancerous growths of the breasts, ovarian cysts, and osteoporosis (loss of bone mass), fewer occurrences of ectopic pregnancy (not in the uterus), ability to become pregnant returns quickly when use is stopped, can be used to change the timing and frequency of your period rare but serious health risks, including blood clots, heart attack, and stroke (women who are 35 and older and smoke are at a greater risk), change in sex drive, temporary irregular bleeding, weight gain or loss, breast tenderness, nausea (rarely, vomiting, changes in mood, and other discomforts), must be taken daily, persistent side effects may be relieved by having your clinician change your prescription

Diaphragm- 84-94% $15-$75/ diaphragm

No major health concerns, can be used during breastfeeding. Can be messy, allergies to latex, silicone, or spermicide, should not be used during vaginal bleeding or infection, increased risk of bladder infection, can only be left in place for up to 24 hours

Condom- 85-98% (nearly 100% with withdrawal) $0.50 and up - some family planning centers give them away or charge very little. Easy to buy in drugstores and supermarkets, can be put on or inserted as part of sex play, can help relieve premature ejaculation, helps to protect against Stds and AIDS Latex allergies, loss of sensation, breakage

Female Condom- 79-95% $2.50/per condom Easy to buy in drugstores and supermarkets, can be put on or inserted as part of sex play, erection not necessary to keep condom in place, can be used by people allergic to latex, external ring of condom may stimulate clitoris. May be noisy, may be difficult to insert, may irritate vagina, penis, may slip into vagina during intercourse

Sponge- 68-91% $7.50-$9/package of three sponges. Easy to buy in drugstores and supermarkets, can be put on or inserted as part of sex play, does not interrupt sex play (it can be inserted hours ahead of time) May irritate sex organs, can be messy, may be difficult to remove, cannot be used during vaginal bleeding

Spermicide -71-82% $8/applicator kits of spermicide ($4-$8 refills). Easy to buy in drugstores and supermarkets, can be put on or inserted as part of sex play May irritate sex organs, can be messy

Fertitility Awareness- Based Methods (FAMs)-checking temperature daily, checking cervical mucus daily, recording menstrual cycles on calendar, keeping a very accurate record of when your period comes each month, keeping track of your menstrual cycle using a string of beads called CycleBeads 75-99% $5-$8 and up/temperature kits (drugstore).

$13/CycleBeads- Free classes often available in health and church centers No medical or hormonal side effects. Requires expert training before effective use, uncooperative partners, taking risks during -unsafe- days, poor record keeping, illness and lack of sleep affect body temperature and may interfere with the temperature method, changes caused by vaginal infections and douches may interfere with the cervical mucus method, must have regular menstrual cycles that are never shorter than 26 days and never longer than 32 days to use CycleBeads

Source: http://www.plannedparenthood.com

health information - birth control

If You Choose Fertility Awareness-Based Methods (FAMs)...

... a professional will teach you how to keep track of your menstrual cycle to help you predict -safe- and -unsafe- days. Abstain from intercourse (periodic abstinence) or use condoms, diaphragms, caps, shields, or spermicide during nine or more -unsafe- days

Stds from Unprotected Intercourse

Genital Herpes- Virus; Burning sensation in genitals, low back pain, pain when urinating, flu-like symptoms, small red bumps may appear around genitals, some show no symptoms. Medications prescribed by your doctor, such as ValtrexTM

Gonorrhea-Bacteria Women: strong smelling vaginal discharge, may be thin & watery or thick & yellow/green, irritation or discharge from the anus, abnormal vaginal bleeding, possibly some low abdominal or pelvic tenderness, pain or a burning sensation when passing urine, low abdominal pain sometimes with nausea

Men: white, yellow or green thick discharge from the tip of the penis, inflammation of the testicles & prostate gland, irritation or discharge from the anus, urethral itch & pain or burning sensation when passing urine. Antibiotics (Similar to antibiotics used for Chlamydia)

Chlamydia Bacteria- Women: an unusual vaginal discharge, pain or a burning sensation when passing urine, bleeding between periods, pain during sex or bleeding after sex, low abdominal pain sometimes with nausea

Men: white/cloudy, watery discharge from the tip of the penis, pain or a burning sensation when passing urine, testicular pain and/or swelling. Antibiotics (those similar to gonorrhea). Such as, Doxycycline

Syphilis- Bacteria; Painless sores or open ulcers may appear on the anus, vagina, penis, or inside the mouth, and occasionally on other parts of the body. During the second stage (roughly three weeks to three months after the first symptoms appear), an infected person may experience flu-like symptoms and possibly hair loss or a rash on the soles and palms -- and in some cases all over the body. There are also latent phases of syphilis infection during which symptoms are absent. Antibiotics. However, can be extremely dangerous if left untreated.

HIV/AIDS- Virus; Most symptoms of AIDS are not caused directly by HIV, but by an infection or other condition brought on by a weakened immune system. These include severe weight loss, fever, headache, night sweats, fatigue, severe diarrhea, shortness of breath, and difficulty swallowing. The symptoms tend to last for weeks or months at a time and do not go away without treatment. In some cases, infections result in death. Doctors can prescribe and array of medications (commonly known as a -cocktail-) to preserve life, however, there is no cure.

HPV (Genital Warts)- Virus; Can cause cervical cancer, visible warts in and around the genitals, may look like miniature cauliflower florets, some show no symptoms. Warts can be removed by a physician, however, they will always return

Treat Cold Sores & Prevent the Spread of Herpes Simplex 1

How would you feel if having looked in the mirror and seen that you have cold sores, and at that point you realize that you can't even give your children a kiss on the cheek? Or it's the same when you go on a romantic vacation with your lover, knowing you can't touch them with your lips in any intimate way because those sores aren't completely healed just yet. These feelings are truly heartbreaking. The Herpes virus brings with it a lot of irritation and heart break, but the risk of passing on this annoying problem to others around them, is the biggest concern for most sufferers.

The spread of Herpes is a very serious concern, especially when you are talking about cold sores which many sufferers do not completely understand. If you are unfortunate to find yourself infected with this virus, it is important that you play your part in the prevention of the spread of the virus by learning about the stages of an outbreak, when you are, and when you are not contagious, and of course most importantly, how you can treat cold sores in the long term to prevent future outbreaks

Stages of an Outbreak

This is the first thing you have to completely explore after being diagnosed with Herpes Simplex Virus 1. There are very clear phases of each and every outbreak, starting with the tingling sensation that tells you they are on their way and ending with the scabbed over crusty sores that eventually trail off and disappear.

As you learn about the different stages of an outbreak you will also learn about different cold sore treatment options that could potentially shorten the duration of the outbreak. You will also learn very critical information about how to prevent the spread of the virus by avoiding contact with others during critical phases of the outbreak.

To be entirely safe, it is advised that you keep your mouth away from others during the entire outbreak, starting with those tingling sensations that tell you an outbreak is on the way.

Preventing Cold Sores

Once you have educated yourself on how cold sore outbreaks occur and are up to date on how to prevent any outbreaks you may have right now and in the near future from spreading to those you love, it's time to start learning about potential cold sore treatment options that could prevent future outbreaks.

It's very true that you can never entirely get rid of the virus. It will always be there, under the skin, presenting an ever-present risk of outbreak. Yet, you can control the way you live your life and prevent cold sores from overtaking your life.

How to Treat Cold Sores

Finally, learning how to treat cold sores is absolutely vital to controlling its spread. If you can prevent your own outbreaks from surfacing on your face, then you have much less to worry about when it comes to spreading it to others. If you don't have the blisters, you can kiss your loved ones and have an active sex life without worry!

Ultimately, reducing the spread of Herpes comes down to preventing and controlling active outbreaks for people who already have the virus. If you have the virus it is your absolute duty to learn how to treat cold sores effectively and reduce their appearance. That is our only hope to stop the spread of the virus.

After thorough research, a Los Angeles based dermatologist, has come up with a Cold Sore Treatment to get a permanent remedy for them. After following his unique treatment approach, you will shorten the virus cycle to 3 days and then permanently cure it forever. Check it out at http://www.treatcoldsores.net

A Difficult Sex Question

Did you ever want to ask the question, is that a cold sore or is it herpes? The answer is they are both the same thing. But cold sores do not carry the same stigma as genital herpes. But you must know that they are both the same strains of herpes virus. Actually the virus strain that causes cold sores can also cause serious eye and brain infections.

These virus strains that cause your cold sores on your lips can also infect other areas of your face, your chest and believe it or not your fingers. Approximately fifty per cent to eight per cent of American adults have the oral herpes virus. And about twenty per cent of our adults have the genital herpes virus. Kind of alarming I would say. Sex with strangers needs to be safe sex, condoms please.

The herpes simplex virus 1 most time affects you above your waist, generally caused by your kissing. The herpes simplex virus 2 is most times below your waist and caused by sexual contact. You are probably smart enough to figure out you can get either virus through oral genital contact. You must be careful with casual sex.

You guys are not embarrassed to admit that you get cold sores but few of you, if any, will state you have genital herpes. And I have read that either of them can be in both places.

This genital virus seems to be on a rapid rise among your adolescents as they feel safe having oral sex as opposed to intercourse. Sex education in our society needs to do a lot better job. And of course it all begins at home. Remember guys both types of herpes are treatable, but to date, neither one is curable. Maybe it will be curable in time, but not now.

If you are going to participate in the new so-called sex revolution, no matter whether you are young and old, you need to understand your long term risks. As always you need to live well to be well.

I think. I read. I care. I inform. I coach.
This is a question that we all must deal with.
And soon.

To you health
don george
wellness is my game
donm@dimoreenterprise.com

1(603) 686-7186

Putting a Positive Spin on Cold Sore Outbreaks

Cold sore outbreaks are no laughing matter. Often, it seems as though luck is not on your side and cold sores seem to come up at the most inopportune times. Whether it's an important presentation, a first date or your wedding day, you can bet your bottom Dollar that you will feel that all too familiar tingle in the days leading up to the event.

It's interesting how different people handle their cold sores differently. For some sufferers, it's the end of the world and reason enough to hide from others in shame and humiliation until the sores clear. Yet for others, a an outbreak is no more serious than a bad pimple and has no impact on their lives at all. If you have been feeling as though your herpes simplex diagnosis is the end of the world, read on for some great positive aspects of carrying the virus.

The positive side:

1) You will take better care of yourself: This is potentially one of the most powerful positive spin offs of having cold sores. Once you have had a few flare-ups, you will quickly put two and two together and realize that the amount of cold sores you suffer from is directly related to your general state of health. Try getting enough sleep, reducing your stress levels and watching your diet and you will definitely notice an improvement and reduction in the amount of cold sore flare-ups you experience. Most sufferers also supplement their diets with extra vitamins and take a variety of supplements to ensure good overall health.

2) Herpes is a wake-up call: Whether you contracted the virus from another person whilst engaging in irresponsible sexual behavior or not, having the herpes virus will make you more conscious of the people you get into relationships with and often means better and safer choices are made. This is especially true during outbreaks. Many people report becoming more sexually discriminating after being diagnosed.

3) Cold sores and the herpes virus shine a spotlight onto new relationships: Whether you suffer from HSV-1 or HSV-2, at some point you will have to tell potential partners to keep them safe. If you are single and dating, this news quickly sorts the losers from the keepers. If either of you was unsure about how much effort the relationship was worth, the news of the herpes virus will quickly clarify feelings.

4) A variety of lesser-known positive sides to cold sores: Many sufferers report a colorful variety of positive spin offs that having the virus has had on their lives. While this might not apply to everyone, it's so nice to know that when it comes to oral herpes, the glass can be half-awesome. For example, one sufferer was so upset after her diagnosis she lost her appetite, and those pesky pounds she was unable to shift through dieting and exercise. 

Whether it's a complete lifestyle change or a few simple positive spin offs, it's good to know that some good can come of cold sore outbreaks too. Having the Herpes virus isn't the end of the world; just look how much good can come of it!

How would you like to never have to worry about cold sore outbreaks again?, Find out how you can truly be cold sore free fore-ever. Go visit the Cure-Cold-Sores.com website.

A Woman's Guide to Living With an STD

There are currently more than 65 million Americans living with an STD and chances are you are one of them or know someone who is. Living with an STD can be challenging and remarkably difficult. But with the right perspective and proper treatment, you can lead a normal life.

I Tested Positive - What Now?

Once the initial shock has worn off, it's vital that you educate yourself about the disease. The doctors and nurses at the clinic you were tested can provide you with information on how to manage your disease. In some cases, STDs can be cured with medication, while others will be a lifelong issue that must be managed. Speak to your personal doctor to find out what options you have for treating your disease.

I Feel So Ashamed

Because of social stigmas and self-inflicted shame, individuals with STDs are rapidly losing their quality of life. It is vital that young women who are infected with an STD understand that they are in no way less of a human being because they were diagnosed with a sexually transmitted disease; it's simply a matter of having a medical condition that requires attention, much like most people in society.

I Feel Angry

Anger, resentment, and frustration are all normal emotions to feel when diagnosed with an STD. However, do your best to resist immediate urges to place blame. If you have had more than one sexual partner and not been tested between each one, you may not know who exposed. It is also quite possible that they did not realize they were putting you at risk. Anger and other negative emotions will only make you feel and the situation itself worse.

No One Knows How I Feel

Seek support from those who understand what you are dealing with. Many areas offer weekly support groups where members of the community can connect with others. There are also a myriad of online support groups, forums, and sites for singles, such as herpes dating sites [http://www.sunshinedates.com/].

How will the STD Affect My Relationships?

People you may want to disclose your disease to include sex partners, family, close friends, and individuals you live with. Telling sex partners after you have tested partner is not an easy thing, but in some states, it is against the law not to if you have an STD. Furthermore, those who really want to be with you will appreciate and respect your openness and honesty. Telling family and close friends could provide you with further love and support. Roommates or people we live with can often see us at our most vulnerable, so you may want to consider telling them so you do not have to stress and worry about it.

Oral Herpes Outbreak Duration

The duration of an oral herpes outbreak depends on many factors. How quickly you react to the first symptoms of a herpes outbreak, what methods of treatment you use, and what state your body is in once you receive the outbreak.

I'd like to start off with responding quickly to the outbreak. This is the most important step in reducing the duration of an outbreak. If you can start treating the virus early, it will not swell up, and grow in size. Once you feel the cold sore tingling immediately start treatment. Every minute you waste the sore grows in strength. It's essential to be proactive when you feel that your body could be at risk to an outbreak. If you've had a long night and you feel run down in the morning; it would be smart to pack an anti cold sore kit for work or school. This means bring some ointment, supplements if you take any, vitamin C, and drink plenty of water throughout the day. This way if you feel the first signs of a cold sore, you are ready to treat it immediately.

The method you treat a cold sore is essential to the speed of recovery. At the first symptoms of a herpes outbreak you can keep the swelling, and redness down by pressing an ice cube against the affected area for 30 minutes. This will slow the movement of the virus and help your body defeat it before it even presents itself upon your lip. Make sure you put the ice cube in a plastic Ziploc bag to hold the dripping water, and do not move the ice around or the virus can spread to other parts of your lip. Some people will not be able to use the ice cube method due to reasons such as their jobs or doing activities that inhibit them to do so. This is when you have to put ointment on the affected area or take supplements such as L-Lysine, 2000 mg of vitamin C, or other herbal remedies.

Last but not least, when looking at the duration of an oral herpes outbreak you have to factor in what state your body is at. If you have a cold, or feel fatigued then chances are the herpes outbreak will last much longer then if you are feeling healthy and full of energy. It is important to eat as healthy as possible, drink plenty of water, and get between 7-8 hours of sleep during this time. You want to boost your immune system so that it can fight the herpes virus at full strength.

Learn how to prevent oral herpes outbreaks, and lessen the duration by practising natural prevention methods. They work with your bodies immune system to suppress the herpes virus and keep it at a dormant state. You can learn more at my website. http://www.frequentcoldsores.com/Prevention_Methods.html

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Successfully Preventing Herpes Outbreaks

In this piece, we will focus on steps you can take to prevent herpes outbreaks without the use of medication. The fact of the matter is that there are many people who suffer from herpes in terms of having the herpes virus in their bodies, but who never have any outbreaks.

Why should you be any different from them? The reality is that you should not focus on why you are different from them. Instead, you should take steps to become more like them. After all, your goal is to avoid having any more herpes outbreaks!

There are two important elements to consider with respect to avoiding herpes outbreaks. In its dormant state, the virus resides deep in the central nervous system. Here it is out of the reach of the immune system, which is why herpes is permanent. The immune system doesn't even know it needs to be fighting the virus because it cannot detect it.

However, in its normal habitat in the nervous system the virus is really not causing any problems. So your primary goal is to avoid causing a triggering event. A triggering event is any event which causes a portion of the virus to surface from the nervous system.

It is the emerging virus which causes you to suffer from outbreaks. So if you can avoid the surfacing you will avoid outbreaks. One of the biggest triggers is stress and anxiety. Extreme physical activity or trauma to the body can also be a factor.

There are many natural steps you can take to address the many triggers of the virus. The more of these you implement, the more successful you will be at keeping the virus dormant. People who never have outbreaks have that characteristic. For some it is entirely natural, but for many others tangible steps they have taken have been successful!

The next element for avoiding outbreaks deals with those times when, for whatever reason, a portion of the virus actually surfaces. In this case, the goal is to make the environment which the virus encounters as hostile as possible.

Generally, people who suffer frequent or prolonged outbreaks have metabolisms which the virus finds attractive. Thus, steps to modify the metabolism to make it less attractive for the virus are beneficial and effective.

Natural approaches to achieve this goal are more effective than prescription approaches. Many individuals, through diet, general health, and probiotics use, have been successful in transforming their metabolic balance.

Probiotics can also be described as helpful bacteria. Not all bacteria is the enemy! For those who need to adjust their metabolism in order to create a more hostile environment, this strategy is worth exploring.

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Genital Herpes Facts and How It Can Be Prevented

People usually have some misconception when they talk about herpes, it generally brings to mind "STD"; a sexually transmitted disease that is incurable and gives the person who has infected by this virus an overall bad reputation of having several sex partners and engaging in different sexual activities. Herpes would always bring so much apprehension, fear and worry as well as stress to someone who had experienced those uncomfortable feelings on their genital area.

Genital herpes is caused by HSV-2 or Herpes Simplex virus 2, a more intense type of herpes virus commonly found on the genital area; HSV- 1 being the more common which is associated with cold sores around the mouth and surrounding areas. Since carriers of this virus can transmit the disease without having any symptoms of an active infection, it is really hard to detect whether a person has already been infected after engaging in a sexual activity thus creating another possibility of transmitting the disease to another person.

Signs and symptoms that a person has already been infected by genital herpes can be felt usually within three to seven days of skin to skin contact with an infected person. It usually starts with itchiness and then sores and blisters will slowly appear on the surroundings of the genital area. The first genital herpes outbreak is usually the most painful; it brings discomfort and makes it hard for the person to deal with it. Once you are already infected by the virus, it can never be cured and it is just so unfortunate that after a first attack of the virus, there is still the possibility of another outbreak.

Aside from all the discomfort and physical pain brought about by genital herpes infection, there are also some emotional disadvantages that can be associated with it. Such as low self esteem, fear of being rejected and stress; of course nobody would want to be infected by these viruses.

So what should be done by a person infected by genital herpes is to avoid getting too much stressed to prevent future outbreaks. Base on research, too much stress tends to weaken our immune system, making our body more prone to different illnesses and that includes genital herpes.

Coping with stress could be done by keeping yourself free from any disturbances that would create your body and mind to respond negatively. Stress in inevitable but can be avoided by means of alternative treatment. Meditation is one of the most effective ways of reducing stress. It helps keep our body in a calm state and bring positive changes in our life.

Suggestive meditation is a process wherein positive suggestions are feed into your conscious mind. Constant mental worries or disturbances block the mind from functioning positively. If peace and positive thinking is instilled into your mind through suggestive meditations, the mind washes out negative emotions which will help your body improve physical health.

There are many ways to help suppress herpes outbreaks. Conventional medicines can only help prevent frequency of future outbreaks and you must also be aware of the accompanying harmful effects. Meditation on the other hand is an all natural treatment that can give positive result without worrying about harmful effects in your body.

If you really want to free your mind and body from experiencing so much stress and prevent future herpes outbreak take some time to learn alternative way of treating HSV-2. Definitely something you should consider giving a try.

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How To Recognize Genital Herpes

Genital Herpes is a sexually transmitted disease caused by the herpes simplex virus. This is the same viral infection that leads to cold sores-and rather like cold sores, once you are infected with genital herpes simplex, you have it for life. Although there is no cure for genital herpes, it is not as serious as many other sexually transmitted diseases. However, it can cause complications, so it is important that you know to recognize genital herpes symptoms to avoid passing the virus on to present or future sexual partners.

What are the symptoms of genital herpes?

Most people who have been exposed to the herpes simplex virus will experience symptoms of the disease after seven to ten days, but in rare cases, it is possible to have been infected for a year or more before the first outbreak of symptoms occurs.

In the first instance, the genital area will feel sore and painful. This sensation of discomfort will quickly lead to an outbreak of small blisters containing a clear fluid. These will burst and form ulcers within a few days. The ulcers usually heal up after one to two weeks, although it can take as long as three weeks during a first outbreak of genital herpes. It is also quite common for the glands in the groin to swell up as a further sign of viral infection.

While the herpes blisters are present, you are infectious and can pass on the virus during sexual contact. Once the tell-tale blisters have ulcerated and healed, new skin forms and you are left with no visible signs of the infection whatsoever. At this point, you are no longer infectious.

However, the genital herpes virus has not been vanquished-it has merely retreated into the nearest nerve ganglion and there it waits until such time as it is reactivated and another outbreak of symptoms occurs.

How to recognize the symptoms of genital herpes in subsequent outbreaks

The first attack of herpes is normally the worst. You are likely to experience a great deal of discomfort and the characteristic herpes blisters can take up to three weeks to heal. Thankfully, future outbreaks of the herpes virus normally last only a week and you may only have one or two blisters. You are also more likely to recognize the symptoms and be able to take precautions to avoid transmitting the virus to others.

The first sign of a subsequent herpes outbreak is often a tingling in the area where you normally see blisters. This is an indication that the virus is reactivating and you can expect to have symptoms within twenty-four hours. You may only see one or two blisters, or even experience just a vague soreness, but you are still infectious, so always avoid sexual contact.

Do the herpes blisters always occur in the same place?

Although herpes blisters typically recur in the same area of the genitals, some people find the symptoms recur in a slightly different location: for example, if the first attack caused blisters to form on the vulva, a subsequent attack might cause blisters in the anal region.

Is it possible to have herpes and show no symptoms?

Some people can be a carrier of the herpes virus and never have any symptoms whatsoever. Although transmission of the herpes virus normally occurs when blisters are present, it is possible to pass on the virus through a process known as 'asymptomatic shedding', which is why unprotected sex with someone who is infected with the herpes virus is always risky, even when they have no symptoms.

So protect yourself and learn how to recognize the symptoms of herpes!

For more useful information on genital herpes and other STDs, check out my genital herpes information website. It's full of sexual health advice plus how to recognize the symptoms of genital herpes and other common sexually transmitted infections.

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Maintaining Self-Esteem With An STD

It happens to many people these days. They go to the doctor, whether for a routine checkup or because they've been experiencing odd symptoms, and they find out they have an STD. This diagnosis, whether for herpes or for some other illness, is at first devastating. Through it all, maintaining your self-esteem with an STD can be the hardest part.

You should start by learning as much as you can about your STD. You'll most likely have many questions that you should ask them! Asking questions and educating yourself will help you realize that this is not a debilitating condition and that you can live with it!

After the first shock, it might be rather easy to feel depressed and pity your situation, but you do not need to. Promiscuity isn't the sole cause of an STD. There are many ways you could have gotten it. It's not something you need to feel ashamed about. As long as you stay up to date about your condition, you will be okay.

Through all of it, you need to know that you are still the same individual you were before you had an STD. If anything, this STD should show you how important it is to love yourself, and take care of yourself. Let your partner know that you have an STD, even if it can be slightly embarrassing. Do so proudly, the fact that you have courage to do this is something that not everyone has the ability to do. If you aren't in a monogamous relationship or are just dating, be willing to open up to your date if it will be getting sexual anytime soon.

It's certainly not ethical to go to bed with someone when you know the disease is active. But this will give you a chance to know someone and to allow him or her to know you. Don't feel you have to lead with this information on the first date. Laugh and talk and do some interesting things so you see where it goes.The disease does not control you, but you can definitely control the disease.

You need to tell your partners what situation you are in. If you aren't confident you can handle the STD, then your partner will be reluctant too! The disease won't affect your life as much as the attitude you have towards it. If you act depressed all the time, then the disease will have taken over all your life. This doesn't have to be the case.

If your partner doesn't accept you, it will hurt, but it's better that you know now rather than being worried all the time that your partner will find out. Take some time alone and get back on the field and let your date know that you have an STD (if you still have it). Don't necessarily let it be known right away, just gradually start the topic one day when the time is right. Your self-esteem depends on it.

Jayde Johannsen uses and researches online dating sites to find a wide range of dating connections. Jayde found helpful information on dating, like the inside scoop on dating with an STD, to assist her research endeavors.

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Dealing With Herpes From An Emotional Perspective

There are lots of information out there about dealing with Herpes from a medical perspective. While there is no cure, there are many strategies for containing or eliminating outbreaks. There is also quite a bit of information available about reducing the risk of passing the virus along to others.

All of this information is very valuable, and worthy of detailed research. However, there in another big aspect to managing Herpes! The virus can affect you mentally as well as physically. And sometimes the mental impacts are more severe than the physical ones, particularly if you've armed yourself with the information referred to in the preceding paragraph!

The mental implications start out with anger and frustration. The first time you have an outbreak is usually the first time you realize you have the virus. Your immediate anger is directed at yourself and your most recent romantic partner. However, what you must realize is that you may have been carrying the virus for years. So go easy on your current partner.

Even if you have been having regular tests for sexually transmitted diseases, the most common blood pests for Herpes do not necessarily show the virus until after the first outbreak. If can be dormant and undetected.

These tests rely on identifying antibodies to the Herpes virus. And you will not develop any antibodies until a portion of the virus surfaces from the nervous system to cause an outbreak. That is the first time your immune system even knows there is a virus to attack. That is the first time your immune system starts to develop antibodies.

So blaming your current partner can backfire, as they may not even have the virus!

The next mental challenge with the virus relates to how you communicate the fact that you have the virus and to whom! Do you contact all of your former intimate partners? Do you limit that conversation to your current partner? Do you have more than one current partner?

That is a decision which only you can make. For anybody with whom you are currently active, the honorable thing to do is to be upfront, and then educate yourself on safe practices. Many experts are of the opinion that you can only transmit the virus when you are having an active outbreak. Get yourself educated! From a mental perspective, you will feel better after you have been honest and in the knowledge that you are taking the right steps to prevent transmission!

Many of the prescription medications for the virus only deal with managing and minimizing an active outbreak. That means you are going to continue having outbreaks, but they will be less severe and will last less time.

Natural remedies for Herpes on the other hand address issues like what triggers the dormant virus to activate in the first place, meaning you might never have another outbreak. They also address the metabolism so as to make the body inhospitable for the activating virus. The best way to guarantee no future outbreaks is to comprehensively follow these natural remedies for Herpes.

The knowledge that you are doing all that you can will also do wonders for your metal disposition!

Learn more about Natural Cures For Herpes. This may change your perspective on the question of Is Herpes Curable?

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Trigger to the Gun: Truth About Genital Herpes Outbreak

As our society becomes more modern, people have also become bolder. While there might still be disputes about how common genital herpes has become, the fact that a lot of people are suffering from it can't be denied. However, if truth be told, it is not exactly the virus that people are suffering from but the outbreaks.

Are you one of those people enduring the pain brought by genital herpes outbreak? Have you been searching for a more permanent solution to this lifelong malady? There is currently no permanent cure discovered for genital herpes, though there are medication-creams, tablets, and pills-formulated to suppress and perhaps eliminate the outbreaks. The only problem is that these medications are not universal. This means they are proven to work for some but are known to produce minimal to no effect in others.

"Why?"

This is because these medications do not address some of the crucial factors that trigger genital herpes outbreak. The best alternative is a natural method that familiarizes you with the real triggers of the outbreaks, which, in turn, allows you to avoid them. If you can avoid the triggers, then you can avoid the outbreaks. So, what is this natural herpes treatment we are talking about?

Understanding Genital Herpes

Before we take a closer look at the best alternative to genital herpes treatment today, let us first discuss the real triggers of genital herpes outbreak that you are probably not aware of...

Stress

Stress is such a natural occurrence and such a common word that it is something we tend to ignore. However, continuously being under stress can result not only to a tired and weak body but also frequent outbreaks. Yes, you read that right. If you are working relentlessly, if you are facing so many challenges, and if you are beating yourself to make ends meet, your body gets weaker, your immune system starts to fail you, and that's when the genital herpes virus take the opportunity to surface and cause outbreaks-an effect you will probably find more depressing.

Unhealthy Diet

As earlier mentioned, a weak body is more prone to genital herpes outbreak. That said, it's important for you consume a balanced diet of meat, vegetables, and fruits. As much as possible, though, you should avoid food are high in sugar as it is known to weaken the immune. It is also crucial to avoid intake of alcohol as it contains refined sugar and can lead to colon diseases if taken regularly and in heavy amounts. It is best to increase your water intake instead.

Menstrual Period

Females suffering from genital herpes outbreak need to be more careful when it comes to their menstrual periods, especially the seven days before the first day of cycle. This is because it's a time when the immune system is weak, as the body prepares to lose blood. The fact that hormones are not balanced during such times makes women even more vulnerable to outbreaks. Genital herpes outbreak before menstrual cycles brings not only irritation but also additional pain, especially in the pelvic region.

Natural Genital Herpes Treatments

Now that you are familiar with some of the triggers of outbreak, which most people tend to ignore, we can now better understand the alternative genital herpes solutions that are found to be easier to follow and, even better, friendlier to our pockets. These solutions are meditation, hypnosis, and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).

You are probably asking "How can these treatments be more effective than tested and recommended medications?"

Wonders of Meditation, Hypnosis, and NLP

While proven herpes medications can really be helpful, they only focus on suppressing the virus-they ignore other factors that greatly affect the frequency of outbreaks. Through meditation, hypnosis, and NLP, you will be able to be more in tune with your body, so to say.

By relaxing your body and mind, you can easily reduce or eliminate stress, regardless of your circumstances. This takes out the number one trigger of genital herpes outbreak. On the other hand, by discovering the right food to eat and by knowing the natural ways to combat the herpes simplex virus, your body will feel better. This provides the solution to the second trigger. The third trigger, menstrual period, can't be completely eliminated as it is a natural occurrence in women. However, if you maintain a healthy diet, learn how to relax your mind and body, and retain a composed mental and hormone balance state during this period, you can highly reduce the risks of getting outbreaks.

Getting the freedom you desire from herpes can be achieved with ease. By understanding the triggers of herpes and learning the methods to avoid those triggers, you will find that the solution to herpes is actually easier than you first thought. The Solution to Herpes is exactly the program that can help you accomplish that. It has already helped and is continuously helping a lot of herpes patients. It is just waiting for you to discover the wonderful benefits of meditation, hypnosis, and neuro-linguistic programming.

There is nothing to lose when you choose to learn more about this program, so why don't you give it a try? Visit The Solution to Herpes, and you might just find the solution you have been looking for.

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Stop Herpes Outbreak by Reducing Stress

Stress is our body's way of responding to a particular situation; physically, mentally and emotionally. When our body becomes too much stressed, it weakens our immune system thus making our body susceptible to some diseases and illnesses. It is important that we also consider knowing what the effects of stress on our body are.It does not only put your health in danger but also places all kinds of burden.

We should not let our immune system get compromised. Since the most common trigger for a herpes outbreak is stress, you should start managing stress before it leads to more possible frequent outbreaks in the future.

The first thing that should be done is to reduce stress by performing some easy to follow stress management techniques. These steps are simple yet a little amount of discipline is needed, since mind and body plays a much bigger role when they work together. The herpes virus, once infected will remain in our body forever but in a dormant stage; only waiting for an opportunity to attack. When the immune system is weakened and does not function or does not work well, it provides the opportunity for a herpes outbreak.

Here are some of the most common yet effective way of reducing stress:

1. Breathing - The most basic form of de-stressing. We take several inhale /exhale exercises which helps you create some space for a more positive reaction. Inhale gives us new energy while exhale is where we release negative emotions such as anger, frustration and disappointment.

2. Take some time to relax - Doing some relaxing activity such as listening to good music and reading inspiring books will help you free yourself from negative emotions to avoid stress. Having some good conversation with friends and taking some time to laugh is a strong stress relief and will take your mind off from some stressful situation. Well, as the old saying goes, "laughter is still the best medicine."

3. Meditation - Research and studies show great health benefits of getting our mind, body and soul some peace and quiet. With meditation, sitting in a relaxed position and clearing your mind from all distraction helps build up a calmer mood. Meditation is a good way to wipe away stress and bring inner peace for a more positive disposition.

4. Hypnotherapy - Hypnotherapy is a way of reducing stress through hypnosis. It allows an individual to enter a state of deep relaxation which is a very useful therapy for fighting stress. Hypnosis also allows you to become calm and focused, as all parts of the mind work together and concentrates on solving the problem at hand.

Stress is inevitable and is really hard to control, but what is manageable is how we let stress affects us; preventing, coping, and reducing stress is extremely important because it greatly affects our immune system which is our body's defense against infections and illnesses.

A strong immune system plays a major role in suppressing and stopping future possible herpes outbreaks. And this can be done if you live a stress free life by following some of the effective ways mentioned above. Bear in mind that preventing herpes outbreaks can be very simple with just a little amount of discipline.

And if you want to know more about how to stop herpes from possible future outbreaks then you can visit this site thesolutiontoherpes.com

Irene is a freelance article writer who wants to help business entrepreneur find their place in the world of online business.

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Herpes Virus And Relationships

Real relationships are based on reciprocal understanding and trust. But what to do if you have discovered you have genital herpes? It is really very terrible. And the feelings which you experience at this moment are precisely negative towards your partner. Herpes can cause serious misunderstanding and even conflicts in a couple. The offense, the feeling of humiliation and dander are those emotions which prevail in that partners who has discovered the infection.

Very often after that the relationships ruin, as there is no more understanding and even friendly feelings towards each other. But this is the worst scenario. You can create your own individual one. Everything depends only on you. It is necessary not to be so desperate. Before starting any conflicts with your partner, evaluate the situation. Get all necessary analysis and find out what stage of disease you have. The things may not be so serious if the disease is at the initial stage.

After that offer your partner an open conversation. Let him/her know what has happened and watch his/her reaction. Do not make any quick conclusions. Your partner can also be shocked and worried. Give him/her and you enough time to think about the future of your relationships. And define for yourself what this person means in your life. If it really means something do everything not to destroy your future because of a single mistake, as you will certainly regret about your parting.

In fact, genital herpes virus is considered a serious disease. It is transmitted in most of cases through the sexual contact. It can have an invisible character, and this is the most dangerous scenario. However, today there exist very effective medications which successfully stop the further development of virus. Regular and correct treatment can lead with time to the complete recovery. So, try to calm down.

There are situations when women discover they have herpes during their pregnancy. In this case it is necessary to inform your doctor about the situation and to follow his recommendations. Most women born healthy children in spite of the fact they are infected. So, enjoy your pregnancy period and think of your future baby. It is a great motivation to take care of your health and think positive. Remember, that herpes is not a sentence and can be cured with time. Be positive and do not lose your close and dear people because of a single life mistake.

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Natural Genital Herpes Treatment Method: Secrets of Oxygenation of Human Body

Natural cures for genital herpes, as some think, may or may not exist. With no recognized method of a complete cure at sight, a successful treatment method remains an elusive dream for those who are praying for it everyday. In such a precarious situation, people who are suffering from cold sores and herpes are ready to try anything at sight.

Why A Natural Treatment Method For Genital Herpes?

A natural method, considered to be harmless, remains a viable alternative to anti-viral method of treatment.

Why?

A suppressive method of treatment which only concentrates on alleviation of symptoms, can not make any positive change inside the body, but surely contributes negatively. The herpes virus, works insidiously to weaken our health day by day, so exposing us to other killer diseases such as HIV, Dementia, Alzheimer's disease etc. The treatment available is as bad as if not worse than maintaining the status quo. This makes a natural Genital Herpes Treatment Method more relevant and more reliable.

Dr. Otto Warbugh's Research

The herpes virus is anaerobic. It means it cannot exist in an elevated oxygen environment within the body. Increasing the body's alkalinity (pH) will suppress the genital herpes and oral herpes virus (HSV2 and HSV1 respectively) to levels where one will not experience outbreaks.

We can then deduce from the above findings that the reduction of acid levels and the increase of oxygen levels in the body can provide an environment hostile enough for these viruses to render them ineffective. This method can give rise to a successful and cost effective method of herpes treatment.

The method proven by Dr. Otto Warbugh's research is comprised of several parts. It starts with the overall theory and the process of this particular herpes treatment and is followed by several key natural ingredients to be used in diet for this natural Genital Herpes treatment.

Following are two out of the three of these ingredients.

B.O.L -- A stabilized liquid oxygen (SLO) productAlkalife

The Treatment Concept

Decreasing acidic intake along with taking B.O.L:

This will assist in the process of increasing the body's pH. B.O.L. has a very high pH level compared with other SLO products varying between 12 to 13.7. This ensures more oxygen level inside body which the herpes virus cannot handle.

A pH level of 7.45 is minimum requirement for the HSV to go inert. Average people with acidic diets will generally have a very low pH and will need to raise it to at least 7.45, an oxygen rich level where the herpes virus cannot exist.

Alkalife Substitution in diet:

Many drinks we consume are acidic, and sometimes due to personal compulsions we want to consume these acidic liquids. This includes tea, coffee, beer, wine and most alcoholic drinks. Alkalife when added our favorite drink like coffee or beer will reduce the acid levels to a point where our body can handle the build up of waste acid.

This method is very simple and sometimes may seem too simple to be of any good. I want to draw your attention to the fact that all complex things are not useful either. We have to judge things basing on their merit alone, not basing on their simplicity.

Himanshu Sekhar Satapathy belongs to an Ayurvedic gharana in Orissa, India. He learned the intricacies of Ayurvedic medicine from both his maternal and paternal grand parents.

For more information on genital herpes, cold sores and natural herpes treatment methods, visit his Genital Herpes Cures blog. It is a place of great information on genital herpes and cold sores.

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Cold Sore (HSV-1) Cures

What Causes Cold Sores?

Here are the most common causes of cold sores that, when recognized early, can help you prevent the sores from recurring:

Too much sunlight. There are a lot of people who are prone to getting cold sores after being exposed to too much sunlight or when they get sunburned. To prevent this, you can apply some good sunscreen on your lips, usually in the form of a lip balm, as your first line of defense. When your cold sores are caused by the sun, then these are what you call as fever blisters. So avoid exposing yourself too much sun especially during the time period between 10 am to 3 pm. Sunscreen that has SPF 15 or higher is a sure must-have, or you can maybe wear a hat that can totally cover your mouth and face.

Cold Wind. Even in extremely cold weather, you can find a sunscreen that is very handy for as long as it has sufficient moisturizing content. You must be very cautious of spots in your face and mouth that turn dry during the cold weather. Try to use some moisturizers as you take hot showers or baths along with applying some hydrating masks to always keep your entire skin moisturized. Drink plenty of water as this is the best way to always keep yourself well hydrated.

Menstruation and Pregnancy. Menstrual period and pregnancy causes your body to experience a lot of changes in your hormones which can induce the outbreak of cold sores. This is probably because the hormonal changes trigger your immune system to weaken which is a natural thing to happen. Naturally, a weakened immune system will not be able to defend your body against illnesses, and this is the best time for the sleeping virus to attack - when you are at your weakest. In order for you to at least still get a hold of these changes, you must keep your body strong at all times through immune system boosters.

The Occurrence of a Flu. As previously mentioned, a weakened immune system means a weakened resistance. This also happens when you have the flu or feel sick - these are the times that cold cores can most likely occur. Hence, all that you can do about this is to stay away from those who are sick so that you will not get the virus too. Make it a habit to wash your hands well. This is the simplest way to stop spreading germs. Take lots of rest and eat healthy foods.

STRESS! Remember that when you are under stress, your immune system tends to weaken too. This will lead to you being prone to ailments which include other health troubles that are too inconvenient to handle like cold sores.

How to Get Rid of Cold Sores Naturally

If you go and see your doctor, chances are, you will be prescribed with antiviral medications to relieve you of your cold sores. Once again, I recommend the use of natural means to do this. After all, side effects and adverse effects come as a part of the package of pharmaceutical products. But you really do not have to resort to using these medications all the time. The home and natural remedies that you can do to cure cold sores are actually too many to mention. Here, we will discuss only six major ways on how you can do it on your own.

Stay away from those who have cold sores too. This simply means avoiding any form of intimate contact with someone who has cold sores, for surely, you would get it. Even if you will not get to a point of kissing them, if their lip has touched something that you may have touched too, then you can surely contract the sores at any given point in time.

Stay away from extreme weather temperatures. Just like what we have discussed in the causes of this health trouble, you must steer away from harsh winds and sunlight which can lead to your cold sores outbreak.

Use lip balm that has sunscreen content. This will surely protect your lips from too much sun exposure, and it prevents your lips from drying too. This way, you remain protected from any possible flare ups.

Take in lots of fluids. If you already have the cold sores, then you must take in lots of fluids - water and healthy fresh fruit juices are good options. This will help in lessening the span of time you would have to suffer the sores. Fruits have antioxidative properties that can help boost your immune system.

Utilize tea bags. You may not be aware of this, but tea bags contain compounds that can fight the virus and stop it from causing more inflammation. You can place the tea bags right on top of your cold sore area.

Apply some aloe vera or witch hazel. The aloe vera can also cure a lot of skin ailments which does not exclude cold sores. On the other hand, witch hazel is an herb whose extracts can be used for medicinal purposes and you can get it from your local health store. You can also just simply use salt on your cold sores as it is capable of letting it dry faster than you expect. It could be very painful, yes. But you'll see its effects soon enough. However, if your pain threshold is too low, then go for the other options that do not hurt as much.

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Reality in the Treatment for Herpes Type 2

Humans are born, they live, and they die; this is the inevitable circle of life that every single human being will have to go through. Now, upon discussing a person's life, it is important to point out that a number of things may happen, disease being one of them. There are all kinds of diseases that a person can contact throughout his or her lifetime, including sexually transmitted disease (or STDs, for short). Of course, as with all disease there are STDs that are more serious than others; there are STDs that can even bring about death (AIDS being the textbook example). Other STDs may be less serious given that they do not bring about death, but this is not to say that they are not painful or problematic. Genital Herpes, or Herpes Type 2, is a sexually transmitted disease that can seriously hinder a person's health, and the worst of it is that is a disease for which there is no cure. This surely is a problem, even though there is no cure for the disease, there are certain measures that can be taken, there are options as far as treatment go. True, treatment cannot cure Genital Herpes, but it can lessen the symptoms, it can shorten them, and most importantly, it can make them less painful. Let us go ahead and discuss what research and development in the field of alternative medicine has produced in terms of treatment for Herpes Type 2.

Despite the great breakthroughs and discoveries that have been made in the field of medicine over the years, it has not been possible to come up with a treatment that can effectively cure Herpes Type 2. Because of this, the best treatment available for any person who wishes to stay away from those aggressive STD is to try and protect themselves from getting it. How? Well, considering that Genital Herpes is Sexually Transmitted Disease, it only makes sense that anyone engaging in sexual activities tries to use protection, and if possible, try to engage in such activities with person who they trust are not infected. Knowing if a person is infected or not is difficult, however, so the risks of catching the disease are elevated. This is an unfortunate, but even if a person gets the disease, there are ways in which to diminish the symptoms and make the disease less aggressive and less life threatening. For example antiviral medication (which includes acyclovir, famciclovir, and valacyclovir) has been used with excellent results in relieving pain and discomfort that accompanies sore outbreaks. Be advised, however, that this form of treatment for Herpes Type 2 is not without any side effects. Prolonged use of antiviral medication has been associated with a number of side effects including the following: fatigue, headaches, nausea, vomiting, rashes, seizures, and tremors.

The idea of treatment is to increase a person's quality of life, not to worsen it, so there must surely be an alternative better to cope with Genital Herpes. Sure, there is always the possibility of pursuing preventive treatment for Herpes Type 2 through home care. For example, you can effectively prevent outbreaks from happening by staying away from synthetic underwear and pants; gentle soap and water cleansing is also recommended, as it works in lessening the risks of suffering outbreaks. However, if this preventive treatment were to fail, what then? Well, in those cases, there is always the option of pursuing the treatment in the field of alternative medicine. Believe it or not, the mind controls the body, and it is possible to treat the mind, to make it protect the body in the absence of disease, and to heal it in its presence. It is no secret that stress propitiates diseases, and given that any person who finds out that he or she has Genital Herpes is bound to be stressed, it is pretty much a given that this person will be prone to developing frequent outbreaks. How can alternative medicine help with this? Well, by treating, training, and conditioning frequent outbreaks. How can alternative, a state of complete relaxation.

The idea is for the subject's mind to perfectly grasp how it is that his body works, for him or her to understand what the connection between the mind and the body is. If a person understands how his or her body works, being tranquil and optimistic about treatment against any disease (including Genital Herpes) is greatly facilitated. Disease can be painful; they can severely hinder an individual's quality of life. People are born, they live, and then eventually die, but this does not mean that life should be miserable, or it should be cut of short by disease, so be sure to remember that Herpes Type 2 is a serious matter. Above all, remember that traditional medicine does not always have all of the answers; alternative medicine can, and almost always will, make for effective, immediate treatment. Suggestive medication, hypnosis, and alternative methods to suppress the HSV2 virus before it manifest itself (be it through Neuro-Linguistic Programming or through other alternative, cognitive tools) are readily available.

To know more about treatment for herpes type 2, visit thesolutiontoherpes.com and find out about treatment for herpes type 2 today.

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How Do You Get Genital Warts: Exploring Treatments and Preventative Measures

Many people may ask how do you get genital warts? There are lots of myths surrounding the appearance of genital warts, I have even heard someone say that you can catch genital warts off of a toilet seat; this is just a myth. People get genital warts through sexual activity, this is the only known way to get the this wart virus.

Genital warts are an infection that is sexually transmitted, although it is also part of the HPV virus. Some people who have the genital wart virus may not develop any warts at all, however they will still have the virus. These means that although they are unaware of the virus they can still infect other people.

Scientists have suggested that there some wart viruses that may lead to cervical cancer later in life. All women are advised to got for regular cervical smear tests, these are every 3 years. It is important that you attend your cervical smear appointment.

How do you get genital warts?

Sexual intercourse, if no condom is used.
Direct physical contact with the affected area, such as the vagina or penis.

Signs of the genital wart virus include;

Lumps or swellings in the genital region, these may be grey in color.
Clusters of lumps or warts in close proximity of each other.
Feeling itchy or slightly uncomfortable in the genital region.
Mild bleeding during or after sexual intercourse.

If you think that you have been in contact with the virus you should try to get it checked out as soon as possible. Tests are available at sexual health clinics world wide, or at your doctor's office.

As I mentioned above you can have the actual warts removed but the virus will be with you forever, to avoid the spread of genital warts, try to practice safe sex where ever possible.

If you have been diagnosed with this disease it is important that you refrain from sexual activity, if this is not a possibility you should try to limit the number of sexual encounters.

The treatments for this disease can include;

Imiquimod (aldara), this is found in cream form, it is to be applied liberally to the affected area, and is said to increase the immune system therefore reducing the genital wart infection.

Podofilox (condylox) this treatment is for external use only, it aids in the destruction of the warts. It is common practice for your doctor to administer the first initial treatment. He or she will then give you the details on how to apply the treatment whilst at home.

TCA (trichloroaetic acid) is similar to podofilox as it burns off the warts. A doctor must administer this treatment.

How do you get genital warts? Simple answer, sex, try to keep an eye on your sexual health by having a regular full check up. Get checked for everything if you think there is no possibility of having it. Do not forget to get checked, this is in your best interests.

No matter what, seeking the advice of your doctor is extremely important especially if you believe you are experiencing any of the symptoms that were described in this article. Even though there are treatment options available, it is best to use preventative measures instead of relying on a cure or a treatment option. Always practice safe sex, is it the only true way to ensure that you do not expose yourself to any sexually transmitted diseases.

Above all else, be cautious with who you choose as a sexual partner, and as mentioned prior if you experience any of the mentioned symptoms, then visit your doctor immediately.

For further information on Genital Warts then please visit my health ezines site for detailed information not only on this disease but many other health related topics.

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9/20 Herpes Life

Herpes Life The key to being happy with herpes? Give up. September 19, 2011 at 6:50 PM Are you suffering with herpes? Well, here’s the secret to moving on, to being happy: Just give up. Hold on, stop the temper tantrum. Get up off the floor. Let’s be clear: Don’t give up on everything. Keep that good, positive hope. Give up that irrational hope you’re clinging to. That just-out-of-your-reach hope that’s keeping you from moving on with your life. Give up that nagging hope of finding a herpes cure (although it may happen). Give up hope that you’ll never have an outbreak again (although they do lessen with time). Give up hope that one day saying “I have herpes” to a potential partner will be easy-breezy (although disclosing can actually be a connecting experience). Give up hope that at some point, herpes won’t impact you in any way (although with time, it impacts you less and less). Sound dismal? It’s only dismal if you expect that what you’re hoping for is possible. If it’s not possible, then you’re painting yourself into a pretty hopeless corner. It’s like holding out hope to win the lottery, waiting for that day that your true happiness will come. Your life is officially on hold until the lottery is won. You find yourself waiting forever (99.987% odds) — not to mention your numb fingertips from that mountain of scratch-off tickets. Herpes and colostomy bags Yes, herpes can be shitty at times, but this study takes shitty quite literally. A recent study published in the November 2009 issue of Health Psychology journal dealt with adults who had their colons removed. It shows us the “dark side of hope.” Out of the 71 no-colon patients, 41 were told they could have surgery to reconnect their bowels, while the rest were told nothing more could be done — they would have to learn to live with a colostomy bag. Dr. Peter Ubel is one of the authors of the study. He says, “We’re not saying hope is a bad thing. What we’re pointing out is that there can be a dark side of hope. It can cause people to put their lives on hold. Instead of moving on and trying to make the best of circumstances, you can think, ‘my circumstances are going to change eventually — no point in dealing with these circumstances.’” What are you waiting for? So stop waiting! Giving up irrational hope is actually freeing: It frees you up to live your life with your current circumstances. Life naturally changes, shifts, evolves. We lose things, we gain things, and through it all we learn to live under constantly evolving circumstances. We learn about ourselves. So evolve! Live your life as it is right now. “Worst” case scenario, a cure is never found, but you have learned to live with the fact that this simple little virus is just something to deal with, not worthy of pausing your life for. “Best” case scenario, a cure is found and you can promptly throw this article in the trash and find something else to hope for. But at least you didn’t put your life on hold while you waited. Herpes disclosure: What are you so ashamed of? September 15, 2011 at 2:31 PM Scenario: You meet someone. You really like this someone. Definite connection. Definite mojo. The time for the herpes disclosure — “Hey, got a minute? I have herpes” — is here. What is this time like for you? What feelings come up? Fear? Shame? Guilt? Avoidance? Those are all common reactions, but let’s dig deeper as to why these might be showing up … Disclosing and shame the same? It seems that the disclosure itself brings up a lot of feelings of shame. But what is it that you’re actually ashamed of? Is it the shame of disclosing, the shame of herpes … or both? What does herpes disclosure mean to you? Does it mean that you’re “admitting” to something that is embarrassing, dirty, stigmatizing? Has the act of disclosing become synonymous with the stigma of herpes itself? Or is it just the opposite? Time for the reframe: Another take on disclosure Try looking through a different pair of glasses. Here, try these on for fit: The disclosure itself is the beautiful part of this whole thing. Yep. How is it beautiful, you ask? Because it’s you; it’s not the herpes, not the stigma. Don’t lump those together. You haven’t magically become the herpes. Disclosure is you acting on your positive qualities, which might just brighten up the whole herpes stigma shadow. Disclosing is declaring “I care! I choose to be honest, authentic, open with you!” If you’ve convinced yourself that herpes is the poison, then disclosure is the antidote. If herpes is the lie about you, then disclosure is the truth about you. If herpes is the part you don’t have control over, disclosure is the part you do. Disclosure takes your power back and shows your true colors. If you feel ashamed when disclosing, ask yourself … “Am I ashamed of my honesty? Am I ashamed of my courage, my integrity, my authenticity, my strength, my belief in building a trusting foundation for a relationship?” There’s no shame in who you are. And the right person will recognize that. It’s not always easy … but it’s worth it The possible reactions from disclosing that you have herpes are varied, from outright rejection and wild judgment to unconditional acceptance and angels singing your courage and honesty – and everything in between. There are so many factors that go into a person’s beliefs around herpes (what Oprah says, what their parents and friends have said, the Old Testament, knowledge or lack thereof, Valtrex commercials, the list goes on and on). That’s why it’s helpful to remind yourself that there are two parts of a herpes disclosure: you and the other person. Your half you have control over; their half you don’t. And the more you can be cool with that fact, the more you can be cool with disclosure and whatever comes out of it. Disclosure isn’t always easy, but it’s an opportunity to flex those muscles of who you truly are. Consider this as an alternate definition of “courage.” Courage is feeling the fear, but doing what you feel is right anyway. Incoming search terms for the article: herpes rejection